u/Melodic-Lobster-5374

This is gonna be my last post. Things haven't been the best. I keep venting here to let some burden off but nothing is really making it any better. I am gonna stop using this account probably. Don't know what I'll do next but I just wanted to say goodbye, I guess? Goodluck to everyone looking for their one and only. Also to the ones who already have their one. It was nice scrolling through the posts here and commenting at times. Thanks for everything. Bye!

I was bored so I wanted ask about which countries you are from! Hopefully that's okay to ask, right? Should be broad enough to not be considered "Too personal". Hopefully.

I am from Bangladesh!(wish I wasn't born here ugh, very awful country. Hate it here)

I was bored so I wanted ask about which countries you are from! Hopefully that's okay to ask, right? Should be broad enough to not be considered "Too personal". Hopefully.

I am from Bangladesh!(wish I wasn't born here ugh, very awful country. Hate it here)

I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hateh this I hate e thisssssjfhsnsnsns. The amount of times I have almost messaged you. I need to hold myself back.... I am so pathetic, ugh. How did I become so emotionally dependent on someone in just 2 months.... I love her more than anything else. I am losing myself.... Or have I already? Don't know. God I am so tempted to just go and beg her but I can't, she won't want me anymore... I couldn't even forgive her lying, why would she forgive this... Fuck... Really need someone to beat me up really bad. Anything to distract myself from this bs....

bashing my keyboard in her chatbox but not sending it. Pretending I am talking to her, lol. Feels nice at first but it just made things worse. Ffs. I don't know why I just did that. I knew it would make me feel worse... I don't know what to do... I feel so fucking lonely. All of this is too much. I wish I never felt anything. EVERYTHING hurts. I want to do bad things to myself. I have but it isn't enough. I couldn't sleep till a bit ago but now I keep dropping dead on the bed. Too exhausted from all the stress. I miss her too much. I have turned off notifications since every one of them feels like it's from her. It makes my heart jump and my body trembling. All of this sucks so much. I want to feel numb and dead

Definitely the first time I have cried so much for someone.... At one point I just become emotionless, but for her. I can't. I love you so much, still. Everything reminds me of you. I can't help but blame myself for everything.... I wish I could hate you. But I can't. I can only hate myself.... wish I could've just ignored the lying then. Fuck.... I am sorry. I feel like I am getting slow poisoned.... Can't even look at anyone else. Everyone still seem like NPCs.... Youre still the only one who matters.... The only one who can make me feel anything. Guess I am back to my old plan? Try living till 25.... Actually, I am going to reduce it by a few years now. After that, I am done. I will finally liberate myself of this bullshit. I don't think I will be able to forget her ever.... Maybe you truly are my first love..... I have never felt this way with anyone I dated before.... Why? I knew I was nothing but a toy for you at first.... Just time pass. I knew everything. Yet.... I still fell for you this hard. I love you as much as my hate myself. I love you as much as my disgust for myself. I really hope you have a better life without someone as shitty as me.