Was in the middle of dreaming of a beautiful married life. Now broken up and don't know what to do next.
I (32F) always struggled with the whole dating part of life. For most part of my teen and 20s, I thought I was the side character of my friends' lives, and stayed single, partly by my choice and partly by others. But 2 years ago I was determined to change this.
I worked on myself, I went for therapy so I can have a healthy relationship, opposite of what I have seen at home for the past decade.
And I finally matched with this guy (32M). A genuinely good man, with the qualities I respected, a view of life that I found interesting, and the kind of man I could spend the rest of my life with.
We started dating with the intention of getting married. It wasn't love at first sight, it was comfortable and easy, like we have done this for years. Whenever we had an argument, we didn't think of it as the end, we always tried to solve it because break-up for not an option. And despite the ups and downs, we didn't really have any issue that was a deal breaker or made us question our compatibility. So our little world took a turn for us when our parents met for the marriage discussions. His parents disapproved of our matrimony because we belong to a lower caste than them. He promised me he'll try to convince them, no matter how long it takes.
Last 6 months have been difficult for him at home, with constant fights and arguments. But he never really expressed the actual level of stress he was in. One day we are celebrating valentine's day, and a month later suddenly out of nowhere, he's telling me we should break-up, because he doesn't see his parents approving this relationship. And he believes, I don't deserve being in a family where someone constantly reminds me that I'm not good enough. He still mentioned that he'll try for another 5-6 months to convince his parents.
So for last one month, we are barely in contact, but a week ago, he mentioned that he has informed his parents of the break-up. And today, he mentioned that dating again has crossed his mind.
I am actually struggling to connect the dots here. I don't know how we went from celebrating valentine's so beautifully, to talking about dealing with our problems together, to breaking up in the same week and now he's not even trying to convince his parents.
I think I didn't make a mistake in judging his character. I have been sooooo loved and adored for last two years, that I knew this is it. I am done finding love. This is who I'll spend the rest of my life with.
And now I am just confused and heartbroken and I don't know what to do. Should I move on? Should I hope that things will work out? Plus I feel too old to go back to dating apps and going through the whole process of finding love and trusting another person again. I just don't feel this is how it's supposed to end.
I have been so desperate in finding answers to these that I have ended up using stupid astrology apps to find some answers.
Edit: until the day he mentioned breaking up, we were both on the same page about marriage. We were making plans for our future, he was always sure about choosing me no matter what. Which is why when the whole thing happened in less than a week, I simply couldn't accept it.
It's been a month now, and today when I saw a table reservation for two on our shared app, I asked him if he's going on a date. While he denied it, but mentioned that it has crossed his mind. Until now I was sure this break-up has broke his heart and mind too, but now I'm even more unsure and in pain.