Struggling to Feel Affection Towards These Babies
I am 17 weeks along with mono di twins. First pregnancy. Beginning exactly at 6 weeks I have thrown up 30+ times a day, every day. My OB called it the worst case of HG she’s ever seen, and yet it took weeks for insurance to approve in-home hydration nursing care. I finally got twice-weekly infusions and have educated those around me about HG but I’m struggling emotionally worse than ever.
The stress of daily survival has made me feel little to no connection with these babies. I realized today I’ve never talked to them, sang to them, rubbed my stomach, or imagined who they’ll be. Peoples keep asking if I’m excited and I’m horrified to admit that I’m not - I’m just ready to not feel like this anymore, that’s all I can think about. I’m panicked that there’s something wrong with me, that I should feel love and excitement… but I don’t.
Will this change after I give birth? I have a therapist but he doesn’t fully understand just how hard every single day is. Please, anyone else out there who felt like this, were you able to bond with your baby? How did you focus on anything but your own survival?
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