I'm a drug addict and afraid to get help
Hi. You guys are about to be the only ones in my life that know about this problem but I figured it'd be a good place to start with getting some help.
I've had substance abuse problems on and off since I was a teenager but it was never obvious. I've never been caught or faced legal trouble for anything in my life other than a couple of speeding tickets. When I started my career in corrections, I was entirely sober and loving it. About 2 years into the job, I relapsed and have been using on and off ever since. For a while I was using amphetamines and ultimately ended up smoking methamphetamine many times when I'd run out (I'm now off of this entirely). I feel like I'm just trapped in a cycle of replacing one substance with another in an attempt to try and get myself off of things. Lately I've been using opiates daily. I'd like to say it doesn't affect my work but it definitely does. I'm a safety risk and terrified to tell anyone that I need help. My mother was a drug addict and I've always preached about "breaking the cycle". I don't want to let anyone down by being what I've always said I wouldn't be