Can EMS impact your mental health subconsciously?
I’ve been in volunteer EMS for two years now. My friend from college called me parents out of genuine concern, saying it seems I’ve been devoid of emotion and am showing a lot less compassion than how I used to. I’ve been experiencing major depressive episodes for reasons not having to do with EMS; if anything EMS feels like an escape from my thoughts and fills me with a sense of purpose.
I had the worst DOA I’ve ever experienced the other day, and I am afraid that it might affect me without me realizing. I’m afraid all of this might be affecting me without me realizing it. In the moment and even now, I don’t really feel anything or get any intrusive thoughts about it, yet I’m able to recognize how sickening the nature of the what I saw was. I’m afraid I’m just emotionally numb at this point, and am not able to recognize what is fuelling it.