Recently got over my limerence for a friend/unrequited love. Going to see him again tomorrow and I'm scared.
We've been friends for a year. Somewhere along the way, I developed feelings for him. And then not long later, limerence. For months, I always felt on the verge of a breakdown because I literally couldn't stop thinking about him, replaying moments we've had, wishing he'd text, venting to AI (not for advice because that's stupid, but my friends are sick of me talking about him so I turned to AI to gush... Not my proudest moment but I was in deep). My mood greatly hinged on whether he'd contact me. And when we went too long without contact, I was miserable.
Recently saw him with a date. I was heartbroken for a few days. Not particularly because he was seeing someone - I knew it was inevitable. But because some stuff happened and I realised he had unnecessarily texted me a few days before because of something to do with his date, not because he cared about me. I was heartbroken that he probably doesn't even care for me as a friend.
Then an opportunity arose for me to reach out to text him a few days later. Any other time, I would've jumped at it because as mentioned, we are friends. But because I was still feeling so raw and upset, I wasn't very sure. What if his response was dry? What if I was bothering him and he doesn't actually see me as a friend? What if it just leaves me feeling even worse?
But the conversation went well. We ended up texting for an hour, which was really way out of my expectations. Post-conversation, I was really happy and satisfied. It's been a week since, and I haven't felt this sane over him in months. I feel like I'm over my limerence. I still do have feelings for him I know, but I realised I'm happy enough to just be his friend. And I'm happy if he gets a girl who treats him right because I don't think I can ever be a good relationship partner for anyone.
Issue is now. I'm going to see him tomorrow. I haven't seen him since the time I saw him with his date. Last night, I guess I was already subconsciously worrying about it because I dreamt I saw him, but I was left mildly disappointed because we barely spoke (we usually do talk a lot when we meet in person). Not like limerent levels of upset, because I didn't wake up feeling sad or anything. Genuinely felt nothing about the dream. But I am worried how I'll feel tomorrow when we see each other. Will I fall back into limerence after I get to talk to him? Or will we not even get to talk like my dream? And how will I feel about it?
Thanks for letting me vent :')