u/Material_Kale_2973

my depression and suicidal thoughts and behavior worsened a lot in the past few weeks and i just want it to end cause i cant bear i anymore. my parents are abusive and treat me like shit, i have no future nor motivation to study and make one, not a single talent or passion, no money and i have severe gender dysphoria. im only 18 and i already feel like i failed in life. the only thing that kept me going is my only friend and his girlfriend who told me not to dare hurt myself ever cause they would never get over it and it breaks my heart just thinking about it. the only days and times i actually feel okay are when im talking to them. besides those days living feels like literal torture
so now im standing here debating wether or not to do it tonight, cause i finally got the courage to actually do it, and i genuinely dont know what to do. i just want the pain to go away but i also dont want to hurt them cause they are the only people that actually care about me and i also care about them