Last year August had a major breakdown, psych hospital type shit. Got help, medication, therapy, managed to recover. Still have very difficult days but at least I can function.
Since then I’ve come a long way, lost 8kg, got in shape, focused on my physical & mental health, restarted my social life, started working on my business again and became a part of society again.
However the last month, I don’t know what happened, but I have gotten in such a rut and weird state again. I’m not depressed (I take meds & go to therapy still) but I’m almost numb and apathetic and exhausted. I can still do things but I really don’t want to do anything anymore. I haven’t gone to the gym in a month, my diet has fallen off a bit, I lost all motivation and drive for work, I barely touched my book and take like 5k steps per day. Such a shame too because I was doing so well.
Again, I don’t really classify for depression anymore and my therapist tells me I should just take tiny steps to get back into my routine but I can’t even seem to do that. Like…I just don’t want to. And I can’t figure out, am I feeling this way because I stopped my routines or did I stop my routines because I don’t feel great. Btw, I’m pretty sure my blood tests are also okay but maybe it’s worth checking again.
Anyway I’m feeling like a loser again. I see all my friends actually living their best lives and having most of their shit together. I try not to compare but the differences are obvious.
Not here to complain but to ask - has anyone experienced this? How do you get out of this state? Is it really just as simple as taking tiny steps daily until they compound? Is it normal to have low energy low functioning periods like this? I keep thinking that I’m just doomed to be a low performing loser at this point. It feels 10x difficult for me to get basic things done so I feel like I’ll just fall behind my friends and people around me on account of low energy and motivation. On the other hand I know you have to fight in life, nothing is easy and you have to earn your happiness.