TL;DR I've been able to control my incessant usage after five years of daily smoking and just wanted to type out my little achievement as a celebration of sorts
I never post anything on reddit, but I just wanted to share with someone out there. I've been THC free for a little over a month and a half now, and by my own choice! I know that I'll never be entirely THC free because I just enjoy it a lot- but I also know that I've needed to take a longer break and really let my tolerance get lower before I could go back to enjoying in moderation.
For background I'd been really dependant on THC in basically any form (carts, edibles, bud, you know the works) for about five years now. I started really smoking when I was 17 and I'm 22 now but have known for about two years how much it was negatively impacting me but have had a really hard time doing much about it for a long time. I'd get high to do literally anything to the point that I didn't feel normal when I wasn't at least a little high. I've taken t-breaks here and there but probably for about a month tops and typically because I've had to, travelling etc. but if there was an option for me to get high regularly I would take it. Basically, if there was THC available I'd seek it out to blare out everything else.
I still have my dealers number and go out to places where people are smoking, hang out with my friends who smoke but what I'm most proud of is that I've been able to not default to lighting up after a long night out at the bars or if I've been stressed or had a bad day. I'm a little embarrassed about how proud I am of myself but thought this might be the place to share. I've come pretty far from lying to friends about how long it'd been since I was high because of how ashamed I felt about how bad i'd let the problem become. I'm so excited to be able to enjoy smoking while not having it take over everything in my life.
I've been having dreams again and just overall feel a lot better. Still having issues staying asleep during the night but I'm hoping it'll start to get better as I keep going. I've also been getting really into CBD which has really really helped me calm down while not being high. I have diagnosed ADHD, depression and anxiety so using that instead of getting high has been a total game changer.
If you read all of this thanks partaking in my little celebration with me! If you guys have any tips for wading back into it in moderation would love to hear it :)