Newly diagnosed need advice
I found out I’m HPV positive from a Pap smear three days ago now. When I found out I was already on the way to my boyfriend’s house. When I got there he saw how upset I was and I tried to explain what was going on but I know I didn’t do a great job. The moment I said hpv he got quiet and didn’t say anything for 15 minutes. Then he started accusing me of not being truthful with my past relationships and he felt like I betrayed him so I left.
That night I texted him and we talked a little bit about it and he told me everything would be okay but that he doesn’t want this but if he does have it, it’s not so bad for men. I thought we were okay but the next day he didn’t reach out at all. So I called him after he was done work and he was just upset with me about everything and like not blaming me but making me feel bad for what’s going on. We left it at that for the night.
Now yesterday we were supposed to have dinner with him parents and he cancelled. He told me he can’t see me right now. I sent him a long text basically saying I’m not the sole blame for this and I will not accept how he’s been treating me. He told me that I was right but he would like to wait until Monday (Monday is my biopsy) I just don’t know how to feel. In 2016 my dad had hpv and it caused tonsil cancer which my boyfriend is aware of. I’m already scared and now I feel like I can’t see a future with him. How am I supposed to be with a guy who isn’t supporting me in one of the most scary times of my life. I was vaccinated as a kid for hpv and I explained that to him. I have had no gw. However as a kid I would get warts on my fingers and before this whole thing happened I did have a flare up for the first time in years. Probably about a month before I had my pap done. I had a pap done last year and it was completely normal and since then I’ve been with one other person before I met my boyfriend which he is also aware of.
I moved to a new state and he has been the only person I’ve found and made a connection with. I’m not only scared for my health but now my mental health. I feel like I’m about to lose my person but also my only friend here. Any advise?