New jersey - question about denied FRO while being disabled and without counsel.
Location: New Jersey
Hello everyone,
I recently had a TRO-to-FRO hearing that spanned several months, and it was recently dismissed. The dismissal itself is not the only issue — my concern is why and how it was dismissed.
I am pro se because I have not been able to find or afford a lawyer, and there is also a divorce case involved. Over the course of the hearing, I provided evidence, videos, witness testimony, texts, and other documentation. I also had evidence I believe was relevant for impeachment, but I was shut down or limited multiple times when trying to question the other side about contradictions. I was told to accept “I do not recall,” even for things that were said very recently or were part of the record. I also felt I was not allowed the same scope of questioning that the other side was allowed.
At the end of the case, I gave my final testimony and stated that I had previously understood the Court to say I met predicate acts including sexual assault/criminal sexual contact, harassment, criminal mischief, and another one I cannot remember off the top of my head. But in the final decision, all of that seemed to be disregarded — including witness testimony, texts, videos, and other evidence.
One of my witnesses testified about seeing sexual misconduct/sexual assault happen. I also submitted a text where I described the rape/sexual assault to my ex in detail, and he did not deny it. I submitted evidence about abuse, including messages where I told him I left because he was abusive and horrible, and videos showing him preventing me from leaving or taking my keys. There was also a police report related to one of the incidents where I tried to leave the house. My ex framed it as him “saving my life” because I was allegedly going to kill myself, but the police report and context showed I was trying to get away from him.
The judge seemed to credit his version and portrayed him as the victim or as being distraught/protective. The judge minimized things like a hole in the wall, even though he admitted to punching it, and did not meaningfully address evidence that contradicted him.
A major issue involved an ectopic pregnancy rupture I experienced last year in North Carolina. Before the rupture, I had made a medical decision that I did not want certain treatment, and I had been evaluated by psychiatric providers. I suffer from severe PTSD, and my mental health and distress were used against me in court. My ex’s distress was treated as protective or heroic, while the fact that I was the patient — the person experiencing the medical trauma, pregnancy loss, emergency surgery, and abuse context — was minimized.
I know this is a lot, but my concern is that my side of the evidence was essentially thrown out, while his narrative was credited despite contradictions. He is also making some of the same claims in our divorce case.
I cannot afford an appeal or an attorney. I also have severe cardiac conditions, somatic anxiety, and other medical issues, and I lost my health insurance through my ex.
What options do I have in New Jersey after an FRO is dismissed when I believe the hearing was unfair, impeachment was limited, evidence was not meaningfully addressed, and the same issues are now bleeding into the divorce case?
Any help would be appreciated. Thank you.
(this was also posted in legal advice, reaching out where I can for help.)