Hiee I am a 17 y/o indian.. so i went to the salon with my mom to get a haircut, (well i kind of pestered her to since I've been wanting that for a while) and the thing is i had almost waist length hair and my mom loved it and didn't want me to cut it as she thinks "girls are supposed to have long hair and its a trend now a days, its what keeps them pretty".
then after going to the salon, we were discussing the length and she was fixated on trimming 1-2 inches but honestly since we were spending quite bit on the haircut i wanted it to be a little different and for that we argued in the salon, i bet everyone there could feel the tension.. I told the hairstylist i wanted my hair to be of bra-strap length and he told me that in that case the hair in the front would be shorter, my mom told me again that its a horrible idea and to keep it longer but he said 'you both want different things so let me handle it on my own'.. but honestly he cut even more than i told him to and during the haircut, my mom kept saying that "You look like a wild animal, its so hella bad, i cant even look at you"
During that 1 hour the level of my panic was unmatched, i knew it was my hair, it was my choice but it was one of the most stressful things I've felt in a while, i was legit so damn anxious... after we were done she told me "Why didnt u listen to me?? why did you cut that much? do you have any freaking idea how tf you look right now? and you knew your father loves your hair, you're done for when he sees what you have done (btw just for reference my hair is a bit past shoulder length and i got a wolfcut) and then when we came home it was a whole another story, she cursed the hellout of me... she kept saying "It was a generational mistake to take u out for a haircut, I'll never ever do it again... goodness did you ever think how I would introduce you when you are looking like THAT?? from the moment he started cutting your hair,i couldn't even look at you, my eyes were TEARING up in the salon seeing you cut all of that , i told you so many times but you never listen to me, you treat me as if I am a dog whose opinions hold no value... you look like an animal, I'm ashamed of you, f u think you look good, you are stupid as shit and those shitty friends who THINK it looks good are no different than you; perhaps because of them you turned out like this"
I know it looks good on me, although a little different from what it was like but i liked it... but after that much negativity I've got nothing in me with which i could convince myself that it looks nice, even tho i know it does... I'm honestly so anxious, i just cannot forget her look of disappointment, her silence and her reaction and behaviour ... at times i'm feeling like I'm the wrong one here, the bad guy... maybe its my fault but I'm not sure what is it that i did wrong... got a haircut that i always wanted to get? or cause did something outside of her will.. istg i love my mom, my parenst so so much, i could never imagine anythng without thinking about them, im so worried about disappointing them but tell me honestly, what can i even do when i'm being treated this way?? and to think about the fact that its literally JUST HAIR .. it grows back (btw when i told her this exact sentence she told me that "it would never be how it was, never in a million years" and i asked her "are u giving a curse of what?" and the she was like "absolutely.. no doubt.. cause you'll see") Idk why i feel this way but dang its just so so hard to explain what exactly I'm feeling, whatever this is, its so damn complicated... if this is how it is after taing such a small decision by myself, i cannot imagine how things will turn out in the future about more serious stuff like wedding, partner, arranged marriage and stuff, cause im literally into women, goodness; why does the universe give tough battles to the weakest soldiers..?