A random memory of my weirdness
This just popped in my head for some reason.
I was probably 14, out and about with my mom on my birthday just like any other ordinary day. She needed to stop by work for some quick thing and I was to tag along before we went about our day. Before we get close to the building, I asked her not to tell any of her coworkers (many of whom I already was introduced to before) that it was my birthday.
She was confused and asked why she should not mention it to her friends. To me, it was plain obvious, I don't want her to do it so that the people she mentioned it to would not feel obligated to say happy birthday to me, or feel the need to direct a bunch of pleasantries and small talks at me. But more importantly, these people don't really know me as a person, so their happy birthdays couldn't have come from a genuine place, and as such it means nothing to me, yet I would have to act appreciative..
I still remember the look on my mom's face after I managed to explain the above reasons to her. It was confusion, disappointment, concern all rolled into one. She also said something to the effect of me being socially weird and taking everything so seriously....
I always feel I'm a little weird in social situations, but I now feel more at ease knowing that may of these things are part of my personality traits. can they be improved? absolutely. but it's definitely freeing knowing it's s normal to feel this way.