So i'm a highschool drop out. TLDR; Not great home life, made some shitty decisions and got involved with some shitty people. Got away from shitty people, got out of shitty living situation, said "wtf am i doing" and got my GED at 20. Went to community college, 4.0 my first semester w/ 16 credit hours. Said "wow maybe i'm actually not stupid". Transferred to state school, changed major from social work/public policy to Neuroscience.
i'm taking a gap year before applying, i dont want to be stressed about all that while im trying to finish my degree. I graduate in the fall, my stats are looking pretty decent. I estimate I *should* graduate with somewhere between a 3.8-4.0 GPA, similar science GPA. Currently have 500ish hours as a scribe but im in training to be an emt right now. Ive dont private tutoring and taught supplemental instruction at my school and been a student mentor. Some volunteer hours in harm reduction, going to volunteer more towards the end of the year. My degree will be BS in neuroscience, double minor in biology and interdisciplinary studies with pre-med concentration. Like on paper i'll be a good applicant, im pretty confident I can at least get in *somewhere*
But like, as I get closer and closer to my graduation I just feel more and more insecure. Like when I first told people I was gonna get my GED and go back to school it was always "oh yeah trade school is great" but I always knew I wanted my bachelors and more, not an associates degree. I just feel like this label of "highschool drop out" is just going to follow me, I already feel so insecure around some of my classmates when they talk about taking AP classes or IB bio or whatever. Which is stupid because we are in the same place but I cant help but just feel so different sometimes even though I know my grades are good. I know im smart, I just spent so many years making bad grades and getting pulled out of class and being belittled that sometimes it feels like it will never be enough. Like every time I get a not great grade or cant understand something I just get so frustrated and it feels like "oh look everyone was right." Maybe the pre meds at my school are just EXTRA toxic but like I just keep feeling more and more insecure like I dont belong here and I wont belong in PA school because people like me arent supposed to be here with people like them. It doesnt matter if my grades are better, if i understand the information better, if my professors like me more, it just never feels like enough. The thought of being in PA school and other people in my cohort finding out I didnt even graduate highschool is mortifying, god forbid a patient or future coworkers. And like, I know this is a me issue, and i know objectively given my grades and everything else it probably wont even matter, i'm just feeling extra insecure about it lately and I think I just needed to scream into the void about it. All this to ask has anyone ever met somebody in PA school with a GED or highschool equivalency? Could it impact my chances of getting in at all? I know im 100% over thinking it, just feeling the imposter syndrome EXTRA heavy lately. If you read this far thank you haha