u/Major_Field_6170

(edited but not finished I had too many distractions tonight )

Alone stood a man in the wake of destruction Smoke from the last embers curled at his feet Most would have sunk, but he smiled toward construction Defeat was the one thing his mind couldn’t meet He envisioned the buildings, the roots of new trees How broken the layout had been in this wreckage While flames still flickered from remnants of past He stepped forward— A matchbook slipped from his grasp He never looked back It too was consumed in the ash

Links

1. https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/YQLDSO3TfN

2. https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/HjHMsJRNcm

Someone else's name

Did I choose her

or did she choose me?

Either way

she stayed for years.

She knew how to calm

my shaking hands,

quiet the riot

inside my head.

I needed her most

on the cold nights,

the slow nights

where sleep wouldn’t come

unless she touched me first.

God…

I loved her.

Even when she made me distant,

twisted my vision,

turned my family

into strangers at a distance.

She took pieces from me

little by little,

slow enough

that I thanked her for it.

Everyone warned me

she was killing me.

I defended her anyway.

Last week

I almost called again.

Almost let her back in

just to feel normal

for one more night.

That’s the sickness of it.

Missing the thing

that buried you slowly

because once upon a time

it felt like relief.

But this morning

was mourning.

Steady hands.

Clear eyes.

A quiet mind

standing over the grave

of the person I used to be.

And that’s when I said it:

I don’t miss her.

I miss the person I was

before addiction

made poison feel precious

and taught me

to call sobriety

by somebody else’s name.

Links :

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/NwSBCpFm2q

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1tbe1il/comment/olgqhrq/?context=3

Did I choose her

or did she choose me?

Either way

she stayed for years.

She knew how to calm

my shaking hands,

quiet the riot

inside my head.

I needed her most

on the cold nights,

the slow nights

where sleep wouldn’t come

unless she touched me first.

God…

I loved her.

Even when she made me distant,

twisted my vision,

turned my family

into strangers at a distance.

She took pieces from me

little by little,

slow enough

that I thanked her for it.

Everyone warned me

she was killing me.

I defended her anyway.

Last week

I almost called again.

Almost let her back in

just to feel normal

for one more night.

That’s the sickness of it.

Missing the thing

that buried you slowly

because once upon a time

it felt like relief.

But this morning

was mourning.

Steady hands.

Clear eyes.

A quiet mind

standing over the grave

of the person I used to be.

And that’s when I said it:

I don’t miss her.

I miss the person I was

before addiction

made poison feel precious

and taught me

to call sobriety

by somebody else’s name.

This is the very first poem ever written, it's cool to look back and see the progression in writing and learning . This was way too long and a little choppy . Yet it's still one of my favorite pieces I ever was able to express. I am working on rewriting it , and would love any feedback or tips. Sorry it's so long ..

Sorrow swirled inside the shell I called myself.

I was broken long before we began.

The cracks only showed

if you looked twice.

Pieces of me held together by tape,

hidden behind a flawless facade.

Then one day

I finally opened the gate

I’d locked around myself.

That’s when I found her.

A girl hunched beside a lake,

expressionless,

with pieces of herself scattered in the sand.

I asked,

“How long have you been this way?”

Her voice was small. Shaking.

“As long as I remember.

This lake…

it’s my tears.”

I looked out across the water.

“A lake that size takes years.

You must’ve been a child.

Where was your mother?”

The girl stared at the ground.

“Drinking.

Chasing men.

Most nights she never noticed I was crying.”

Then quieter—

“And it was my fault anyway.

Before me, she was happy.”

I stopped her immediately.

“That’s not true.”

She said nothing.

Just sat there in silence

like someone waiting to disappear.

So I asked again,

“Did you decide that yourself…

or did someone put it inside you?”

Her voice nearly broke.

“One night she came home drunk and alone.

I rubbed her feet until she fell asleep.

I loved nights like that.

It meant I got to stay close to her.”

A pause.

“Then she told me I was the reason her life was ruined.

A burden.”

I didn’t know what to say.

Because while she was taught to hate herself openly,

I hid mine behind pride.

Image was my power.

Pretending I was whole

was easier than facing the truth.

We talked for hours that night.

She carried sadness like it was a responsibility.

Spent her life holding everyone else together

because she believed

that’s what she was made for.

I couldn’t bear hearing it anymore.

So I started gathering her scattered pieces,

trying to tape them back together

with the same tape barely holding me intact.

The more I fixed,

the more parts of myself fell away.

For a moment, I hesitated.

What if she saw

I wasn’t whole either?

But she needed me.

So I shoved my broken pieces into my pockets

and kept going.

Slowly, she began to stand.

Almost complete.

I thought maybe

I could give her a life untouched by pain.

A life where she finally felt peace.

Then I realized one piece was still missing.

I searched desperately through the sand.

Nothing.

Panic settled into my chest.

“How can I keep my promise

if I can’t make you whole?”

She smiled softly.

“It’s okay.

You already did enough.”

But I knew she didn’t mean it.

Then I understood.

The missing piece

was her heart.

And I had nothing left to repair it with.

My tape was gone.

My pockets were already overflowing

with the pieces of myself I couldn’t carry anymore.

But I couldn’t stop there.

She deserved to know life was more than suffering.

More than surviving.

So I made one final request.

“Live fully.

Carry your own happiness for once.

And when the world becomes heavy again…

keep going.”

Then I reached into my chest

and pulled out my heart.

I felt its final beat in my hands

before placing it inside her.

It fit perfectly.

And as her chest began to rise again,

I realized the rhythm inside her

was mine.

For the first time,

she looked whole.

And for the first time,

I smiled.

This is the very first poem ever written, it's cool to look back and see the progression in writing and learning . This was way too long and a little choppy . Yet it's still one of my favorite pieces I ever was able to express. I am working on rewriting it , and would love any feedback or tips. Sorry it's so long ..

Sorrow swirled inside the shell I called myself.

I was broken long before we began.

The cracks only showed

if you looked twice.

Pieces of me held together by tape,

hidden behind a flawless facade.

Then one day

I finally opened the gate

I’d locked around myself.

That’s when I found her.

A girl hunched beside a lake,

expressionless,

with pieces of herself scattered in the sand.

I asked,

“How long have you been this way?”

Her voice was small. Shaking.

“As long as I remember.

This lake…

it’s my tears.”

I looked out across the water.

“A lake that size takes years.

You must’ve been a child.

Where was your mother?”

The girl stared at the ground.

“Drinking.

Chasing men.

Most nights she never noticed I was crying.”

Then quieter—

“And it was my fault anyway.

Before me, she was happy.”

I stopped her immediately.

“That’s not true.”

She said nothing.

Just sat there in silence

like someone waiting to disappear.

So I asked again,

“Did you decide that yourself…

or did someone put it inside you?”

Her voice nearly broke.

“One night she came home drunk and alone.

I rubbed her feet until she fell asleep.

I loved nights like that.

It meant I got to stay close to her.”

A pause.

“Then she told me I was the reason her life was ruined.

A burden.”

I didn’t know what to say.

Because while she was taught to hate herself openly,

I hid mine behind pride.

Image was my power.

Pretending I was whole

was easier than facing the truth.

We talked for hours that night.

She carried sadness like it was a responsibility.

Spent her life holding everyone else together

because she believed

that’s what she was made for.

I couldn’t bear hearing it anymore.

So I started gathering her scattered pieces,

trying to tape them back together

with the same tape barely holding me intact.

The more I fixed,

the more parts of myself fell away.

For a moment, I hesitated.

What if she saw

I wasn’t whole either?

But she needed me.

So I shoved my broken pieces into my pockets

and kept going.

Slowly, she began to stand.

Almost complete.

I thought maybe

I could give her a life untouched by pain.

A life where she finally felt peace.

Then I realized one piece was still missing.

I searched desperately through the sand.

Nothing.

Panic settled into my chest.

“How can I keep my promise

if I can’t make you whole?”

She smiled softly.

“It’s okay.

You already did enough.”

But I knew she didn’t mean it.

Then I understood.

The missing piece

was her heart.

And I had nothing left to repair it with.

My tape was gone.

My pockets were already overflowing

with the pieces of myself I couldn’t carry anymore.

But I couldn’t stop there.

She deserved to know life was more than suffering.

More than surviving.

So I made one final request.

“Live fully.

Carry your own happiness for once.

And when the world becomes heavy again…

keep going.”

Then I reached into my chest

and pulled out my heart.

I felt its final beat in my hands

before placing it inside her.

It fit perfectly.

And as her chest began to rise again,

I realized the rhythm inside her

was mine.

For the first time,

she looked whole.

And for the first time,

I smiled.

This is the very first poem ever written, it's cool to look back and see the progression in writing and learning . This was way too long and a little choppy . Yet it's still one of my favorite pieces I ever was able to express. I am working on rewriting it , and would love any feedback or tips. Sorry it's so long ..

Sorrow swirled inside the shell I called myself.

I was broken long before we began.

The cracks only showed

if you looked twice.

Pieces of me held together by tape,

hidden behind a flawless facade.

Then one day

I finally opened the gate

I’d locked around myself.

That’s when I found her.

A girl hunched beside a lake,

expressionless,

with pieces of herself scattered in the sand.

I asked,

“How long have you been this way?”

Her voice was small. Shaking.

“As long as I remember.

This lake…

it’s my tears.”

I looked out across the water.

“A lake that size takes years.

You must’ve been a child.

Where was your mother?”

The girl stared at the ground.

“Drinking.

Chasing men.

Most nights she never noticed I was crying.”

Then quieter—

“And it was my fault anyway.

Before me, she was happy.”

I stopped her immediately.

“That’s not true.”

She said nothing.

Just sat there in silence

like someone waiting to disappear.

So I asked again,

“Did you decide that yourself…

or did someone put it inside you?”

Her voice nearly broke.

“One night she came home drunk and alone.

I rubbed her feet until she fell asleep.

I loved nights like that.

It meant I got to stay close to her.”

A pause.

“Then she told me I was the reason her life was ruined.

A burden.”

I didn’t know what to say.

Because while she was taught to hate herself openly,

I hid mine behind pride.

Image was my power.

Pretending I was whole

was easier than facing the truth.

We talked for hours that night.

She carried sadness like it was a responsibility.

Spent her life holding everyone else together

because she believed

that’s what she was made for.

I couldn’t bear hearing it anymore.

So I started gathering her scattered pieces,

trying to tape them back together

with the same tape barely holding me intact.

The more I fixed,

the more parts of myself fell away.

For a moment, I hesitated.

What if she saw

I wasn’t whole either?

But she needed me.

So I shoved my broken pieces into my pockets

and kept going.

Slowly, she began to stand.

Almost complete.

I thought maybe

I could give her a life untouched by pain.

A life where she finally felt peace.

Then I realized one piece was still missing.

I searched desperately through the sand.

Nothing.

Panic settled into my chest.

“How can I keep my promise

if I can’t make you whole?”

She smiled softly.

“It’s okay.

You already did enough.”

But I knew she didn’t mean it.

Then I understood.

The missing piece

was her heart.

And I had nothing left to repair it with.

My tape was gone.

My pockets were already overflowing

with the pieces of myself I couldn’t carry anymore.

But I couldn’t stop there.

She deserved to know life was more than suffering.

More than surviving.

So I made one final request.

“Live fully.

Carry your own happiness for once.

And when the world becomes heavy again…

keep going.”

Then I reached into my chest

and pulled out my heart.

I felt its final beat in my hands

before placing it inside her.

It fit perfectly.

And as her chest began to rise again,

I realized the rhythm inside her

was mine.

For the first time,

she looked whole.

And for the first time,

I smiled.

This is the very first poem ever written, it's cool to look back and see the progression in writing and learning . This was way too long and a little choppy . Yet it's still one of my favorite pieces I ever was able to express. I am working on rewriting it , and would love any feedback or tips. Sorry it's so long ..

Sorrow swirled inside the shell I called myself.

I was broken long before we began.

The cracks only showed

if you looked twice.

Pieces of me held together by tape,

hidden behind a flawless facade.

Then one day

I finally opened the gate

I’d locked around myself.

That’s when I found her.

A girl hunched beside a lake,

expressionless,

with pieces of herself scattered in the sand.

I asked,

“How long have you been this way?”

Her voice was small. Shaking.

“As long as I remember.

This lake…

it’s my tears.”

I looked out across the water.

“A lake that size takes years.

You must’ve been a child.

Where was your mother?”

The girl stared at the ground.

“Drinking.

Chasing men.

Most nights she never noticed I was crying.”

Then quieter—

“And it was my fault anyway.

Before me, she was happy.”

I stopped her immediately.

“That’s not true.”

She said nothing.

Just sat there in silence

like someone waiting to disappear.

So I asked again,

“Did you decide that yourself…

or did someone put it inside you?”

Her voice nearly broke.

“One night she came home drunk and alone.

I rubbed her feet until she fell asleep.

I loved nights like that.

It meant I got to stay close to her.”

A pause.

“Then she told me I was the reason her life was ruined.

A burden.”

I didn’t know what to say.

Because while she was taught to hate herself openly,

I hid mine behind pride.

Image was my power.

Pretending I was whole

was easier than facing the truth.

We talked for hours that night.

She carried sadness like it was a responsibility.

Spent her life holding everyone else together

because she believed

that’s what she was made for.

I couldn’t bear hearing it anymore.

So I started gathering her scattered pieces,

trying to tape them back together

with the same tape barely holding me intact.

The more I fixed,

the more parts of myself fell away.

For a moment, I hesitated.

What if she saw

I wasn’t whole either?

But she needed me.

So I shoved my broken pieces into my pockets

and kept going.

Slowly, she began to stand.

Almost complete.

I thought maybe

I could give her a life untouched by pain.

A life where she finally felt peace.

Then I realized one piece was still missing.

I searched desperately through the sand.

Nothing.

Panic settled into my chest.

“How can I keep my promise

if I can’t make you whole?”

She smiled softly.

“It’s okay.

You already did enough.”

But I knew she didn’t mean it.

Then I understood.

The missing piece

was her heart.

And I had nothing left to repair it with.

My tape was gone.

My pockets were already overflowing

with the pieces of myself I couldn’t carry anymore.

But I couldn’t stop there.

She deserved to know life was more than suffering.

More than surviving.

So I made one final request.

“Live fully.

Carry your own happiness for once.

And when the world becomes heavy again…

keep going.”

Then I reached into my chest

and pulled out my heart.

I felt its final beat in my hands

before placing it inside her.

It fit perfectly.

And as her chest began to rise again,

I realized the rhythm inside her

was mine.

For the first time,

she looked whole.

And for the first time,

I smiled.

Links

---https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/CB3hDHDXpG

----https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/dwMKhtkkwF

​

Alone, I stay up late.

How did I not notice

how long it took

for you to slip away?

Before the hopelessness set in

you were already gone

just out of my focus.

Fading

into the dark

like you were never here.

And I keep chasing

what I already lost.

Running through memory

to the last place

you tried your hardest.

I can still feel it—

your love

for a moment

on my skin.

But it was already dying.

Your love was the target.

And it’s been dead for days.

Lying there

on the carpet of everything I ruined.

I can’t bring it back.

I can’t fix it.

Just this heavy, hollow feeling

like I’m stuck inside my own mind

watching it happen in slow motion.

You left me

with all the pain

I refused to see.

Heartless in the rain.

Now all I see

is scarlet and grey.

Links

-https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/GDajvdvxd8

- https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1tdbj6g/comment/olu5x9l/

​

Alone, I stay up late.

How did I not notice

how long it took

for you to slip away?

Before the hopelessness set in

you were already gone

just out of my focus.

Fading

into the dark

like you were never here.

And I keep chasing

what I already lost.

Running through memory

to the last place

you tried your hardest.

I can still feel it—

your love

for a moment

on my skin.

But it was already dying.

Your love was the target.

And it’s been dead for days.

Lying there

on the carpet of everything I ruined.

I can’t bring it back.

I can’t fix it.

Just this heavy, hollow feeling

like I’m stuck inside my own mind

watching it happen in slow motion.

You left me

with all the pain

I refused to see.

Heartless in the rain.

Now all I see

is scarlet and grey.

​

Alone, I stay up late.

How did I not notice

how long it took

for you to slip away?

Before the hopelessness set in

you were already gone

just out of my focus.

Fading

into the dark

like you were never here.

And I keep chasing

what I already lost.

Running through memory

to the last place

you tried your hardest.

I can still feel it—

your love

for a moment

on my skin.

But it was already dying.

Your love was the target.

And it’s been dead for days.

Lying there

on the carpet of everything I ruined.

I can’t bring it back.

I can’t fix it.

Just this heavy, hollow feeling

like I’m stuck inside my own mind

watching it happen in slow motion.

You left me

with all the pain

I refused to see.

Heartless in the rain.

Now all I see

is scarlet and grey.

​

Alone, I stay up late.

How did I not notice

how long it took

for you to slip away?

Before the hopelessness set in

you were already gone

just out of my focus.

Fading

into the dark

like you were never here.

And I keep chasing

what I already lost.

Running through memory

to the last place

you tried your hardest.

I can still feel it—

your love

for a moment

on my skin.

But it was already dying.

Your love was the target.

And it’s been dead for days.

Lying there

on the carpet of everything I ruined.

I can’t bring it back.

I can’t fix it.

Just this heavy, hollow feeling

like I’m stuck inside my own mind

watching it happen in slow motion.

You left me

with all the pain

I refused to see.

Heartless in the rain.

Now all I see

is scarlet and grey.

​

Alone, I stay up late.

How did I not notice

how long it took

for you to slip away?

Before the hopelessness set in

you were already gone

just out of my focus.

Fading

into the dark

like you were never here.

And I keep chasing

what I already lost.

Running through memory

to the last place

you tried your hardest.

I can still feel it—

your love

for a moment

on my skin.

But it was already dying.

Your love was the target.

And it’s been dead for days.

Lying there

on the carpet of everything I ruined.

I can’t bring it back.

I can’t fix it.

Just this heavy, hollow feeling

like I’m stuck inside my own mind

watching it happen in slow motion.

You left me

with all the pain

I refused to see.

Heartless in the rain.

Now all I see

is scarlet and grey.

​

Alone, I stay up late.

How did I not notice

how long it took

for you to slip away?

Before the hopelessness set in

you were already gone

just out of my focus.

Fading

into the dark

like you were never here.

And I keep chasing

what I already lost.

Running through memory

to the last place

you tried your hardest.

I can still feel it—

your love

for a moment

on my skin.

But it was already dying.

Your love was the target.

And it’s been dead for days.

Lying there

on the carpet of everything I ruined.

I can’t bring it back.

I can’t fix it.

Just this heavy, hollow feeling

like I’m stuck inside my own mind

watching it happen in slow motion.

You left me

with all the pain

I refused to see.

Heartless in the rain.

Now all I see

is scarlet and grey.

​

I thought it was forever—

you were my dream catcher.

When you entered,

the nightmares vanished after.

Dreams tethered by fear

finally learned to breathe.

They rose from the damage

I didn’t believe I’d leave.

A soul weathered by years

of doubt and defeat,

somehow still standing

on unsteady feet.

Famished, proud,

but learning to grow,

both of us broken

but refusing to fold.

Bandaged and cracked,

but carrying on,

you and I together

until you were gone.

You gave me the strength

to find my own ground,

to build something stable

from what we had found.

And now I can feel it—

you loosening your hold,

not breaking, not hurting,

just shifting your role.

Like a song in the distance

I can’t fully keep,

still soft in my memory,

still haunting my sleep.

So I let you go

like a note in the air,

not lost, not forgotten—

just no longer there.

​

The woman I met

was different from the one I saw.

She carried confidence in her emotions,

loved me openly from the start.

Still, I wouldn’t drop the guard

protecting my heart.

Caught in a selfish paradox,

haunted by old scars,

I grew complacent through the years

while she stayed steadfast—

giving me time to heal,

separate, but never apart.

The warmth of her presence

soothed my soul,

but it came with a cost.

Because when I finally opened my eyes,

the woman I saw

was different from the one I met.

Bruised.

Damaged by the guard I built

to protect myself.

Certain with her emotions,

she kept them in check.

The weight of my fears

turned her silence heavy.

Now I drop my guard

and offer all of my heart,

yet she can’t accept it.

Her love, once shown through patience,

has hardened into regret.

And now

it’s my turn

to look crazy in her eyes.

​

I thought it was forever—

you were my dream catcher.

When you entered,

the nightmares vanished after.

Dreams tethered by fear

finally learned to breathe.

They rose from the damage

I didn’t believe I’d leave.

A soul weathered by years

of doubt and defeat,

somehow still standing

on unsteady feet.

Famished, proud,

but learning to grow,

both of us broken

but refusing to fold.

Bandaged and cracked,

but carrying on,

you and I together

until you were gone.

You gave me the strength

to find my own ground,

to build something stable

from what we had found.

And now I can feel it—

you loosening your hold,

not breaking, not hurting,

just shifting your role.

Like a song in the distance

I can’t fully keep,

still soft in my memory,

still haunting my sleep.

So I let you go

like a note in the air,

not lost, not forgotten—

just no longer there.

​

I thought it was forever—

you were my dream catcher.

When you entered,

the nightmares vanished after.

Dreams tethered by fear

finally learned to breathe.

They rose from the damage

I didn’t believe I’d leave.

A soul weathered by years

of doubt and defeat,

somehow still standing

on unsteady feet.

Famished, proud,

but learning to grow,

both of us broken

but refusing to fold.

Bandaged and cracked,

but carrying on,

you and I together

until you were gone.

You gave me the strength

to find my own ground,

to build something stable

from what we had found.

And now I can feel it—

you loosening your hold,

not breaking, not hurting,

just shifting your role.

Like a song in the distance

I can’t fully keep,

still soft in my memory,

still haunting my sleep.

So I let you go

like a note in the air,

not lost, not forgotten—

just no longer there.

​

The woman I met

was different from the one I saw.

She carried confidence in her emotions,

loved me openly from the start.

Still, I wouldn’t drop the guard

protecting my heart.

Caught in a selfish paradox,

haunted by old scars,

I grew complacent through the years

while she stayed steadfast—

giving me time to heal,

separate, but never apart.

The warmth of her presence

soothed my soul,

but it came with a cost.

Because when I finally opened my eyes,

the woman I saw

was different from the one I met.

Bruised.

Damaged by the guard I built

to protect myself.

Certain with her emotions,

she kept them in check.

The weight of my fears

turned her silence heavy.

Now I drop my guard

and offer all of my heart,

yet she can’t accept it.

Her love, once shown through patience,

has hardened into regret.

And now

it’s my turn

to look crazy in her eyes.

​

The woman I met

was different from the one I saw.

She carried confidence in her emotions,

loved me openly from the start.

Still, I wouldn’t drop the guard

protecting my heart.

Caught in a selfish paradox,

haunted by old scars,

I grew complacent through the years

while she stayed steadfast—

giving me time to heal,

separate, but never apart.

The warmth of her presence

soothed my soul,

but it came with a cost.

Because when I finally opened my eyes,

the woman I saw

was different from the one I met.

Bruised.

Damaged by the guard I built

to protect myself.

Certain with her emotions,

she kept them in check.

The weight of my fears

turned her silence heavy.

Now I drop my guard

and offer all of my heart,

yet she can’t accept it.

Her love, once shown through patience,

has hardened into regret.

And now

it’s my turn

to look crazy in her eyes.