19M - New career, losing weight, and the "invincibility" is starting to fade. Looking for some perspective.
Hey everyone,
I’m 19 I’m on Trikafta, and recently started my first professional career. Up until now, I’ve always felt pretty invincible. I play goalie, I hit the gym 3-4x a week, and I’ve always took pride in being able to push through anything.
But lately, that feeling of being untouchable is starting to fray. I’ve recently dropped a few pounds (136 down to 132) due to the stress and mental load of the new role. Seeing my ribs become more visible again has hit me harder than I expected, it’s a physical reminder that I’m not as bulletproof as I thought.
Adding to that, a family friend with CF passed away in his early 30s a few years ago. It’s been a massive reality check that has me spiraling a bit. I have a girlfriend who is a nursing student—she’s my world and I want to grow old with her. But lately, I’m nauseous just thinking about the future, and I’m finding it hard to balance the drive to succeed with the reality of this condition. I don’t want to just "get by"; I want to be there for the long haul with her.
I’m looking for some reassurance or advice on:
How do you deal with the anxiety of seeing a "worst-case scenario" play out in the community?
Does the fear of the "30s" ever quiet down once you find your rhythm again?
How do you stop the mental load from turning into a physical downward spiral when you’re feeling weak?
I’m bringing my girlfriend to my clinic appointment next week because I’m tired of carrying this fear alone. Any words of wisdom from those who have navigated these "existential" dips would mean a lot