u/LynxUseful664

Hello again to all of you… I just posted recently about my fears regarding the outcome of my sub pregnancy. Then I Had a good appointment yesterday at the doctor and relaxed a bit more (still awaiting the big scan at a specialist scan in 2 weeks but it was nice to hear that the growth looks fine right now).

But then just 2 hours later one of my best friends told me that she is also pregnant in an early state. She didn’t do anything wrong, she informed me via message as we discussed and she also told me already beforehand that they are starting to try for their second kid. She is one of the two only friends I shared my sub pregnancy with - I think she is relieved that I got pregnant few weeks before her, so it was easier for her to tell me the news.

Weirdly, to me it’s almost worse to learn that while I am pregnant now. With my tfmr pregnancy I had two not so close friends being almost on the same timeline and I struggle still to meet them and their living children.

The anxiety to experience that again is multiplied since she is such a close friend.

And the worst - I have super irrational thoughts crossing my mind. Like how she will have again a normal smooth pregnancy and “steal” this from me because I will then fall again on the dark side of the statistics and how this is unfair since she has already one healthy child etc.

I am so shocked how egocentric I am thinking/feeling.

Of course if it works out it will be amazing to have Kids the same age, especially after all my friend had their first kids already 2-4 years ago. And I know those feelings must sound horrible for everyone who is still trying and wasn’t yet successful.

But it is so hard to imagine the good outcome and if I could choose no one should be pregnant same time, so I won’t have to be afraid about that additionally 🫣

Maybe someone can relate and give me an advise how to deal with it? I am seeing a therapist but whenever I addressed my feelings of jealousy towards other pregnancies etc, she is just saying it’s normal.

Hey everyone,

I know that probably most people here have those fears and anxiety and there are already a lot of posts… but I feel like I have to get it off my chest.

Had the TFMR last year in may because of severe malformations, reason was an unbalanced translocation which was later declared de novo. We don’t really have a repeating risk.

Before the tfmr I had one missed miscarriage and a biochemical and after the tfmr I had an early miscarriage- potentially caused by an endometritis which is treated meanwhile.

Now I am pregnant again after a few months of trying and am very happy that it worked.

I am now 10+4 weeks and so far it looks good. My tfmr pregnancy had a growth restriction from the very beginning which this pregnancy doesn’t have. I could be optimistic- but instead my anxiety is getting worse. We have a big first screening at a specialist planned in two weeks and somehow I am so scared. Not that it’s again something rare like the unbalanced translocation but that it is a more common trisomy. I have more symptoms in this pregnancy than in the others before, mainly a weird „evening sickness“ and fatigue starting almost every afternoon (the mornings are by far my best time of the day where I feel completely normal). I had relatively high hcg patterns in the beginning of the pregnancy when they checked and so I am now spiralling thinking about trisomies. It feels like after so many losses, it is impossible to have a healthy baby and with me being 36 meanwhile, why shouldn’t I have a trisomy?

It’s ridiculous and before we do the big scan and the NIPT no one can tell me if this baby is healthy… but I felt like expressing my worries in a place where people may understand 🤷‍♀️

I am wishing you all the best for your sub pregnancies!