She really picked the wrong car that day
So this happened years ago but it still lives rent free in my head.
I’m in Australia, sitting in the Woolworths car park in what can only be described as a crime against vehicles. A 90’s two door Mitsubishi Lancer in this disgusting faded green colour. The kind of car that looks like it’s lost every argument it’s ever been in.
I’m already having a terrible day, just sitting there, questioning life.
Then in rolls this pristine, shiny white 2018 Toyota hatchback. You know the type. Looks like it’s never seen a pothole, a scratch, or financial responsibility.
Out steps this girl, probably around my age at the time, and before I can even process what’s happening, she just FLINGS her door open like she’s trying to escape a burning building.
BANG.
Straight into my door.
Not a little tap. A full commitment hit. Leaves a proper dent too.
I look over, waiting for the universal “oops sorry” face.
Nope.
She looks me dead in the eyes, smirks, and shrugs. Like she just knocked over a shopping trolley, not someone’s car.
And something in my brain just… clicks.
So I slowly turn, still making eye contact, reach over, and open my passenger door.
Now here’s where it gets stupid.
Without getting out of my seat, I wind up and kick my passenger door as hard as I possibly can.
Full force.
My door SLAMS into hers like it’s been training for this moment its entire life.
The noise was insane. Like a gunshot echoing through the car park.
She had just started walking away and literally froze mid step. Didn’t even turn around properly at first. Just stopped like her soul left her body.
I casually pull my door back in, sit there like nothing happened, still looking at her as I light a cigarette.
That smirk? Gone. Absolutely deleted.
I’m not saying it was mature. I’m not saying it was smart.
But I am saying… message received.
To this day, I hope she thinks twice every time she opens a car door.
I don’t think revenge gets more petty than that.