I have PMMD (plus a lot of legitimate worries over health issues). Got out of the house at 3am because I couldn't cope anymore. 20km and 30k steps kicked the bad thoughts in the ass and left me full of energy even while I'm on my period.
Legs and feet are slightly sore, but I feel so good. Like, genuinely at peace.
I'm not referring to people who have to clean up hoarding situations but the constant cycles of buying and donating what you don't use.
I feel like it's becoming more and more common.
I'm so tired of everything this stupid disease has stolen from me. I've lost a third of my life to it. All my 20s. I have permanent issues from it. Others might get better, but God knows when. I'm so damn tired of it all. It's not fair. I didn't deserve this. I got a shit hand dealt to me on all fronts since I was a kid. They could have realized I had it years ago. All the signs were there. No one took it seriously, and I was too far gone mentally to do anything about it.
I have so much anger. So much despair. And people don't understand. It's just a dietary restriction to them. Just a bit annoying like being lactose intollerant. I just want to scream sometimes. Tell everyone that I hate them. Yell at the doctors that it's their fault for not catching it. Yell at my family for letting me rot in a bed while I was falling apart. For not doing anything when I said I was in pain. When I was too exhausted to exist. When my mind was shutting down. No one did anything and I just got worse. There was no reason for it either. It would have been so easy for me to be ok.
And why did it have to be this bad for me? I read all the time people who don't take it seriously at all, and they are still fine. Why did it have to destroy my life like this?
I just want to be ok. I don't want anything else from this life. Just to be healthy.
Sorry for the rant. I just feel that if there's someone who could understand, I will find them here.