u/Low_Ride9633

Reaching out is not an option and I don’t know that I would even want to… nothing has changed. I wish I had answers as to why you did what you did. What was the motive? Was it real? Was I just easy to manipulate? So much time we spent together. You said I was your goal. Was that just prose? You asked me to let you prove yourself. The butterfly effect. Let something go if it comes back it was yours. I let it go. I moved on. But I miss my best friend daily. I miss that easy connection. The hard thing is feeling like everything was one sided. The hard thing is feeling like even though our situation hurt me a lot over time it was better than this no contact. It’s hard feeling alone in my feelings. In my life. It’s hard not having you to share successes and failures with. It’s been three years today that I graduated college. It’s just hard having a life without you. I wish I knew if you felt the same or if I liked you more than you ever liked me. I’ve moved out of the hope of us but I will always miss us. I don’t feel like I will find something that is the same. I often wonder what you’re doing. Probably continuing your ways just with someone else. What did you think everytime you hurt me? Did it bring you joy? Accomplishment? That you could just have me waiting. Why was “loving “me never enough? You have made me feel like I will never be enough. When I am an accomplished person with a good heart and soul. I know all this but the scares you created and you just don’t care? No remorse ? You don’t ever just sit and think about my perspective? And even if you do it doesn’t change your behavior. How can I miss my best friend and be afraid of how you hurt me all at the same time. I want to be blissful like you. I want to be blissfully at peace like you are in this situation. Because if one of us should be missing the other it’s you that should be missing me. You should be writing all these things to try to cope. But you just moved on .