Throwaway because I don't want some people to know I'm asking.
I am AFAB and questioning my gender identity heavily after a partner cheated on me. I attribute this to my lack of sex drive/extreme aversion to sex. The idea of being seen naked or touched stressed me out and disgusted me enough that I couldn't do it at all at a certain point.
I know I am minimum nonbinary; While I don't care about pronouns I know that I do want top surgery and am fairly disgusted with most of my female anatomy. Never been super feminine nor have I liked traditional feminine presentation. But then again I also don't have an interest in Male activities either, hence the questioning.
Truthfully the only way I can really get turned on is imagining myself with male parts. Where I am confused is whether I would be considered fully trans (FTM) or if this is just fetish. I often fantasize about having lower male parts but only in sexual scenarios. Autoandrophilia I think it may be called but I'm not sure - I don't necessarily want to be on HRT, but the idea of having male parts is appealing. Though again I can't tell if this is fetish or being potentially trans.
Is this normal for those who are FTM? I'm not really sure what to do or how to approach these thoughts moving forward. Looking to see if anyone has has similar experiences and the outcome of the questioning.