My first post on reddit and currently crying so please bare with me. I (21M) just lost my boy Spike (11 year old German Sheppard) this morning. He was the best thing that ever happened to me, and I don't know what to do now. Last week random his hind legs went numb, refused to eat(unless it was cheese), and stopped using the restroom. Besides Saturday where he acted mostly normally just a bit wobbly. My parents and I took him to the vet and they gave him steroids as they thought he would get better and help him until we could get him to take a mri.
On the previous night I got home from work and laid in the living room with him all night. My dad left for work pat Spike on the head. Spike lifted his head, then layed it down took a deep breath and passed away shortly after my dad walked out the door. It felt like time froze but moving quicker than ever. I'm laying here wondering what I could have done better. Did I wait too long? Did I give him the life he deserves? Does he know I'm sorry I wasn't the perfect owner? How do I live normally again?
He was everything to me. He followed me everywhere, laid in my bed (and shook it with his heavy breathing), and met me at the door after work the proceeding to drag me to bed.
Spike helped me through the toughest times in my life that I could never repay to him. I've had dogs before him but they either ran away or given away. So he's the first one I've seen to end and I never imagined it would hurt this bad to not have him here. I don't want to leave my room to walk out into what feels like an empty house. Not seeing his bed or his head poking over the couch feels like a knife through my heart each time. Is there anything that can help this?