Little backstory, I’m a 21yo female and I’ve been smoking on and off since I was 18. It started with just every once in a while with friends casually, to once a week, to a couple times a week, to everyday, and then all day everyday. I have chronic anxiety and major depression so I used it as a vice to cope. When it became daily I would only use it when the day was over, like knowing I had no more responsibilities for the rest of the day and I would only smoke flower. I dabbled in pens at the time, but very rarely would I use them. I would smoke to kinda unwind and calm my anxiety down after the day was over. It was everyday, but I was essentially doing it before bed so I felt there was no issue.
I went cold turkey Feb 9, 2026. A little more backstory, I started a serving job at a busy restaurant at the end of November. I didn’t realize it at the time, but my anxiety and panic attacks worsened, so my solution was pens. At the end of November I started using them when I woke up and before I went to bed. I stopped flower pretty much completely because now I had the convenience of the pens. Come December, I was using the pens all day everyday, it was chronic to the point I was going through a 2g pen in a couple days just to cope with everything. I did that until February, I told no one. My gf had no idea and I was hiding it from everyone because I knew what I was doing was awful for me, but I didn’t know how else to cope.
I’m 81 days sober now I think, but in one of my worst depressions. Going cold turkey was rough, I had awful withdrawals, I mean throwing up and shaking type stuff and I had a psychiatrist that basically just laughed off my addiction and gave me more meds. I have a different psychiatrist now and things are going well with her, but still a lot of medication changes. I’m in an extreme depression and I’ve used flower in the past (not to the extent I did from nov-feb) to help me kinda boost out of the depression. I’ve been using CBD oil and smoking some hemp to help with my symptoms, but I’ve come to a point where I don’t really feel any effects from the cbd anymore.
I’ve done a lot of research regarding a cbd/thc ratio where I feel it might work for me to help get me out of my depression, but I also feel an overwhelming sense of guilt going back. Trust me I’ll never touch the pens again, I learned my lesson there, but I feel like if I were to smoke cbd/thc together where there’s more cbd than thc it might help boost me out of my depression. I’ve tried so many antidepressants and other various meds and nothing seems to help me.
I’m just curious if anyone else has an experience like me or if someone could give me some advice to if this could be a good or bad path for me