Struggling with my identity: Tamil Hindu by birth, but I feel closer to Jesus. Anyone else?
Hi everyone,
I’m looking for some perspectives and advice because I’m feeling a bit torn lately. To give you some context: I’m 33, born in Europe to Hindu Tamil parents.
Growing up as immigrants in a foreign country, my parents often went to church to pray—perhaps because it was their only refuge at the time. They never officially converted, but as a result, I’ve only been to a Hindu temple about 7 times in my life, while I go to church at least once a month. I’ve noticed that many Hindu Tamils also pray to Jesus, so it didn't seem unusual at first.
However, I’ve always felt a much stronger connection to Jesus than to Murugan. Since we lived in an area with very few Tamil people and no temples, our Hindu practice was minimal—mostly just eating vegetarian during important days (viratham). Today, I know much more about Christianity than Hinduism. I read the Gospels, and I pray to Jesus and Mother Mary during both my best and worst moments. My parents are completely fine with this.
The problem is that lately, my heart feels divided. I am moving closer to Jesus, but I don't want to lose my roots. To me, being Tamil is more cultural than religious. I love my culture, but I feel no spiritual connection to the religion itself.
Is there anyone else in this situation? How do you balance being culturally Tamil Hindu while having a Christian faith? I really need to talk about this openly.
Thanks for reading, looking forward to your thoughts.