u/LongjumpingSky7465

ok so ive been doing outbound for like 6 months now and im honestly so confused on what to focus on

my manager keeps telling me to pick up the phone more but every time i call ppl are either annoyed or the gatekeeper shuts me down before i can even get a word out. like genuinely whats the point if 90% of dials go nowhere

but emails arent much better?? i sent out like 300 last week and got 4 replies, 2 of them.

context. i sell ERP integration software, mid market, ACVs usually 80k to 200k. ive been an AE here for 4 years. im decent, never been the top of the leaderboard but ive been top 5 every year. im 31.

three weeks ago my dad got diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer. he lives in another state. i was supposed to fly out to see him on a wednesday and i had a make or break call with a prospect, lets call them midwest manufacturing co, on the tuesday afternoon at 3pm central. 350k ARR opportunity. id been working the deal for 9 months. they had told us a soft yes verbally two weeks earlier and then went silent. the tuesday call was the "let me understand whats happening" call. my manager said dont miss it. i wasnt going to miss it.

i was a mess. id slept maybe 4 hours, my bag was packed for the flight, i hadnt eaten since the night before. i had a screen set up in my home office and i was wearing a clean shirt over sweatpants because that was the kind of day it was.

i joined the call 3 minutes early, i always do. the prospects CFO and head of ops were already there waiting which NEVER happens, those two usually roll in 5 to 8 minutes late. the CFO took one look at me and said "hey before we get started, you look exhausted, you okay?" and i, i dont know, something just gave. i said "honestly, no. im having a rough week. my dad was diagnosed with cancer on saturday and im flying out in 6 hours, im trying to do this call and im not at 100%. we can reschedule if that works better for you guys."

the CFO went quiet for a second. then she said "my mom went through this two years ago. lets do this call. but lets do it like adults, not like a sales call."

what happened in the next 47 minutes i still cant fully explain. we didnt do my demo. i didnt run discovery. i didnt have my objection handling notes in front of me. she just asked me, human to human, what i actually thought the real concern was that was making them hesitate. and instead of running the "common objections" playbook i was supposed to run, i told her the truth. i said i thought their procurement team was nervous about integration risk because they had been burned by another vendor 18 months ago and i didnt think their CTO fully believed our implementation timeline.

she said "youre right on both counts. what do we do about it."

we built the path forward together on that call. phased rollout. partner implementation team for the first 90 days. milestone based payment structure instead of the standard upfront. i didnt sell anything. i didnt close anything. i told her id need 48 hours to confirm internally. she said "take a week, family first."

i told my manager on the way to the airport, half expecting him to freak out about deal timing. he just said "do you want me to take this over while youre out." i said no, ill handle it from my parents place. and i did. paperwork signed in 14 days from that tuesday call. 380k ARR, 3 year commitment. biggest single deal our team has closed this year.

heres the thing that has been eating at me, and im writing this on a plane back to my parents because i need to get it out of my head.

every training, every playbook, every manager ive ever had has told me some version of "leave your stuff at the door." be the professional. dont bring personal things into the call. control the room. maintain the dynamic.

i did the exact opposite of all of that on tuesday and it was the most effective sales call of my entire career. not because i used vulnerability as a TACTIC, that would not have worked, the CFO would have smelled it in 8 seconds. it worked because i actually wasnt okay and i told the truth, and it turned out she had been through something similar and she also told the truth. the call stopped being a sales call. it became two people with stuff going on figuring out a business problem together. the deal closed because of that, not in spite of it.

i honestly dont know what the takeaway is supposed to be here. im not telling anyone to go be vulnerable on every call, that would be gross and also wouldnt work. the lesson MIGHT be that the professional armor we wear is itself a barrier in 2026. that buyers are exhausted by performative sales theatre. that when you stop performing, sometimes the deal accelerates because the buyer is also tired of pretending.

my dad is okay for now. were doing treatment. ill be flying back and forth for a while. id rather have the deal than not have it, but honestly if id missed that call and he was worse off i wouldnt have cared at all.

has anyone else had a deal close because something went sideways in your life and you stopped performing? im trying to make sense of what happened on tuesday and i dont totally trust my own read on it yet.

been testing cold email vs cold calling pretty heavily over the last 3 months for my agency and wanted to drop some actual numbers because most posts on here feel like theyre just regurgitating the same advice

started with cold email since its the easier lift. sent roughly 2k emails across a few campaigns, got around 40 replies which felt great until i actually looked at the booking rate. out of those 40 replies maybe 3 or 4 turned into real meetings on the calendar. the rest were either polite no thanks, unsubscribes, or people asking for info and then disappearing the second i followed up. so the funnel looks pretty on the surface but it leaks hard once you get past the reply stage

cold calling was rougher emotionally but the numbers told a different story. did about 600 dials in the same window, got hung up on probably 70 percent of the time, had a handful of people get genuinely annoyed, but the ones who actually engaged were night and day. way more likely to book, way more likely to show up, way more likely to close. theres something about an actual human voice that just cant be replicated in a subject line no matter how clever you think youre being

what i landed on after all this is that email and calls do completely different jobs and treating them like substitutes is where most people mess up. email gets your name floating around and creates surface area, calls actually move deals. the combo that worked best for me was sending an email first, waiting 3 or 4 days, then calling and casually referencing it like hey i sent something over earlier this week wanted to follow up. response rate on those calls was noticeably better than going in fully cold, people were less defensive because the name wasnt totally foreign to them

curious if anyone else is running something similar or if youve found a sequence that hits better. also wondering how youre handling the mental side of cold calling because thats the part nobody really talks about

so my emails just stoped landing in inbox like overnight. open rates went from 30% to like 4 idk whats going on. checked spam folder yep there they are sitting pretty 🙃

i warmed the domain did all the spf dkim dmarc stuff its all green. sending volume hasnt really changed. content is the same as last month when it was fine.

what do yall do when this happens?? do u just pause and warm up again or switch domains or what. feels like im throwing money in the trash rn

any help apreciated im losing my mind over here

I am sick and tired of private infras. they break extremely fast and never has the same deliverability as GoogleWorkspace and Azure. Any affordable provider you guys recommend?