Needing Guidance
Hi all,
I’m not sure if this is allowed but I’m so lost and devastated and I have no idea what to do next. My almost 10 year old golden had her first seizure last Friday night (4/17) and it was a 60-90 second grand mal with loss of continence and some aggression when she came to, we rushed her to the ER vet and she stabilized without meds. She was fine until Thursday night (4/23) when she had another, but much more gentle, 30 second seizure that didn’t progress to a full grand mal. Yesterday we took her back to our usual vet and he decided to do blood work and start pheno. Last night, after one dose of pheno, she had her worst grand mal yet. Lasted between 2-3 minutes and when she finally came out of it she had trouble standing until she came out of it more, severe anxiety, whining, etc. She wasn’t aggressive nor did she lose control of her bladder but this seizure was her longest and most violent. For the next several hours, her anxiety was sky high, to the point she just wanted to keep walking. She finally settled down about 2 hours after the seizure and rested.
She still has a great appetite, drinks water, and can rest when she’s not anxious, etc but I’m noticing she’s losing a little interest in her toys, sleeps a lot more, has a lot more anxiety, etc.
I’m here because while I hope it’s just epilepsy, my heart of hearts knows it’s very likely a tumor that we can’t see and frankly I can’t afford an MRI, and I refuse to put her through chemo/brain surgery/radiation even if it was confirmed.
I don’t want to “give up” on my girl, she’s my entire world, and I just want her to be happy and healthy, but I’m struggling with knowing how long to give the medication time to help, because will it even help?
Every time I watch her seize, it gets worse and they’re more violent and I can just see her in pain during them and I’m just trying to do the right thing for her. I can’t let her go too soon but I cannot keep her here through pain for my own selfish reasonings of not wanting to lose her. I’m struggling so hard, she was perfectly healthy a week and a half ago, and now here we are, where I’m counting minute to minute and forever anticipating and afraid for the next one.
Any advice or experience you have; I’m so lost and am desperate for anything.