u/Living_Feature_3113

My 6.5 year old son attends 1st grade at a private school with a class of 15 kids. He has an August birthday, two weeks before the cutoff. Seven of his classmates (half the class) are between 11-15 months older than him - a few of them redshirted and two were retained in K. My kid is hard-working, well-regulated, and academically where he should be for 6.5. just behind the rest due to his age.
He seems to need a little more one on one support in the classroom generally speaking, and possibly/potentially neurodivergent or have audio processing or focus issues which are to be determined, but I would not say he’s immature or terribly off-target for a first grader. He’s also petite (like me!) Because of the big age and size gap, the older kids, particularly the older boys, tend to see him as a little brother rather than a peer. His academics are ok/fine. He’s not reading or writing where the rest of the class is, but we wouldn’t expect him to because they’re so much older. He sees a SLP weekly for basic social skills and focus work. Teacher/admin had not flagged a need for targeted academic support all year until now with 4 weeks left, after our contract for 2nd grade was signed. Previous report cards have been fine as well. No formal communication, tracking, or support sought for academics. The school is suggesting retention, citing his age, social standing, and academics as a combined reason to repeat, but also indicating it’s ultimately our choice. I’m trying to look at this objectively and while I’m open to both paths, I believe my kid’s self esteem could take a hit with being the only one not to move forward next year. I’ve seen the numerous studies that also show retention in the long run tends to be neutral to sometimes even negative impact long-term so I’m curious what other parents here might add.