Dear J,
Reconnection is a funny thing. When you’re least expecting it, it hits you like a truck.
I want to tell you everything. I wish I could be open about the entirety of my feelings, but I’m not in the position to. We both know that. So here I am, stupidly hoping that you’ll see this and somehow know it’s about you. Do you even use Reddit?
I think about you a lot. More like constantly, if I’m being any sort of honest. I dream about you, wish I could do something as simple as hold your hand like I do in those dreams. I’d like to think you’d laugh if I told you your hands were clammy in my dream.
The uncertainty holds me back, like it always does. Always has.
I find myself craving to know what your touch would feel like to me, even after all these years.
Because your voice? When I hear it online, it makes my heart flutter. Whether you’re talking to me or not. I wish I could tell you that. But somehow it wouldn’t be fair.
So I keep you close. I am selfish. I know that. But I desperately hope that one day you will be a little selfish too.
Talk to you soon, nerd.