u/Lillian_Faye

I am studying abroad and I brought with me one suitcase and one backpack, both packed to the brim with clothes and everything I need for abroad. I didn’t weigh either bag but I’d guess it was more than 100 pounds altogether. I arrived in the city and put my backpack on my suitcase as I walked to my hotel for the first night (about two miles). My suitcase and backpack were going over some cobblestones and started falling backward, so I tried pulling them upright with my right arm. I succeeded, but I felt something pop in my right shoulder and it immediately started throbbing. Nothing terrible, but I could definitely feel it. That was eight days ago. And since then, it’s been painful to open and shut car doors, reach above my head or move my arm upward and to the side. It’s not terrible and I can still do these tasks, but I feel enough pain to wince. I wouldn’t be bothered by it but I woke up this morning with it throbbing and it hurt even to pull up my pants after using the restroom. I’ve taken enough medical classes to know that I messed up my rotator cuff somehow. Right now I feel pain on the external surface of my shoulder, just below the spot where the humerus meets the scapula. It hurts whenever I touch this spot. Is this usual for a strain? How bad did I injure my cuff?

it’s two in the morning

when you call,

and i,

stuck somewhere between

dreams and day,

wonder what is worse,

the sting

of spirits

in your voice

or

the words

that slur

from your mouth.

I wanted to say,

you weep,

I’m sorry ‘bout us.

I shoulda done more.

You’re the best girl

That could have happened

To a guy like me

And I threw it away.

Don’t mind me.

I’m so drunk.

I don’t know why.

I hate Fireball

and family

and the guys

in my frat.

Do you hate me?

i should say

Boy,

You can stomach

The strongest shot,

But love

Is where

Your body

Draws the line?

i almost say,

I hate my

Family

As much as you.

My grandma

Was

A good woman

Before liquor

Replaced

Her liberty,

Her love,

Her life.

Now she spends

All her days

Bent over the bottle.

Same for my uncle

And aunt

And cousins.

I hate it as much 

As I hate them

And nearly as much

As I

Hate

Myself.

i want to tell you,

Boy,

You’ll wind up

Same as my family,

Same as yours,

If you keep

Spending these nights 

With humans you hate

With drinks you despise.

See, boy,

Love

And liquor

Mix like

Oil and water,

Like ice and fire—

Like you and me.

They can‘t

Exist

In the same

Reality.

One of them

Tops the other

In time.

You have to choose

One to lose—

Liquor

Or your lover—

but i am tired

and i am sober

and i can choose

to keep the peace 

one night more,

so i say,

Boy,

It’s two in the morning.

Drop the bottle.

Go home.

Don’t do something

You’re gonna regret.

you laugh,

and i almost smell

the beer

on your breath.

It’s too late for that,

you mutter,

your words bitterer

than hops,

and i wonder 

if you are right

in more ways 

than one.