u/Legitimate_Warning72

After an unsuccessful attempt at delaying a serious conversation, I made the mistake of mentioning PMDD and she got upset that I was tracking her period with the app she gave me access to.

She's told me I'm being manipulative by going behind her back and using the app to plan when to have serious conversations, so she has stopped responding to me and deleted my link to the app.

I'm kind of freaking out and just holding on to the hope that this will blow over when her period comes, but I'm devastated right now and could use some perspective or reassurance or advice or anything. I feel so alone and confused.

Hi everyone first time poster in this subreddit.

I have been dating someone for about 5 months and just during her last period did she mention that she thinks she might have PMDD. Her previous periods have been textbook PMDD in retrospect, so it absolutely makes sense and her symptoms check out.

So she is in her luteal phase right now, but we haven't had a chance to make a plan for her luteal phases yet since this is all so new. She's in a bad place and this morning was very angry at me and says that she needs to have a heart-to-heart. I told her that I don't have capacity until X Date (after her period starts) and ideally X Date (when her period ends), so it would be best if we could have the heart-to-heart then.

She says it's urgent and that I really need to prioritize it, otherwise she can't move forward relating. I'm not sure what to say or do, since we haven't had a chance to make any plans yet since it's all so new. According to all the wonderful resources here, I shouldn't engage with her right now.

Does anyone have advice for what I should say or how to handle this?

Update:

I tried the following.

1. I said: "The next week I think is not great since I want to really focus on work this week, but let's schedule something for next weekend or the week after this coming week. For example X Date, Y Date, Z Date."
   1. She said that she needed to talk urgently.
2. I said we should get some sleep first and then check in.
   1. After sleeping she is still feeling that we need to urgently talk.
3. I said: "Sure that makes sense. I understand that this is important and I’d like to give it the attention is deserves, but I don’t have capacity for a serious dialogue until next weekend at the earliest. Could you explain to me why this is so urgent so I can understand better?"
   1. She said she doesn't want to text about it and needs to meet in person to discuss and that it feels like I'm avoiding connecting with her.
4. I said: "I’m sorry it feels like I’m avoiding connecting, that’s not my intention. I would really like to see you today, but I really don’t have capacity to have a serious conversation until the dates I gave. What I can offer is to meet in nature, listen to you, and write down what you want to bring to me so that we can dialogue about it when I have capacity. What do you think?"
   1. She said no.

So I've told her that unfortunately doesn't work for me then. This is so painful, I miss her so much and I just want her to be ok.