Hi, i'm sad. I have been sad in the past. I even tried to commit years ago, but i couldn't. The idea of my grandma being so distraught was too much. I know it sounds stupid, but i couldn't think about anything else.
Now it's about an year that these thoughts came back. But now it's different. I have a girlfriend, a beautiful incredible girlfriend that deserves the world. And she's stuck with me. I can't do this to her. She's the only thing that's keeping me into this world. And i feel like shit, because she's everything i ever wanted from life and she puts everything she has everyday to make me feel special and she does. But i still feel this emptyness inside... And i know she's not the cause of this. I just feel so alone.. I don't have any friend, or, at least, anyone who i consider a real friend, i'm obese and i'm failing academically. Every part of my life is a complete failure and i feel like shit to be this way while being with her. She doesn't deserve this... She deserves the world, but she's stuck with me...
I just want her to be happy... And i know that my contribution in her life is something that makes her so... But i'm finding the act of living harder and harder anyday everyday...
I don't need replies or solutions to this, i just needed to express some of my thoughts somewhere, like a bottle in the ocean... Nothing more