u/Lazylazylazylazyjane

"Now give three cheers...I'll lead the way...Hoo-rah! Hoo-rah! Hoo-raaaay! Hoo-raaaay! Hoo-raaaay!" -

HMS Pinafore

My godmother has been in a memory care facility that rhymes with schmatria for one week and she’s being verbally and psychologically abused.

I can hear in her voice that she’s being abused she said the staff yells at her and all the other residents, they’re cruel to them, and they drag her around by the arm. I asked if she wanted me to say something and she said “I wish you wouldn’t because they will do the most to you. they’ll make you sit in a chair by yourself”. I asked if she wanted to ask for help getting back to her room or if she wanted me to ask and she said they had put her in some other room by herself and she was scared to ask them for help going back to her room. I called her last week and the person helping her had a screaming match with her when she didn’t understand what was going on. that’s not the first time I’ve heard them speaking to her disrespectfully. It can’t get any better from here, because she’s going to lose he speech at some point.

I read another thread on this sub Reddit where a memory care facility had lost her mother who wandered out, and Redditors said to not think of complaining to anyone or she’d be kicked out and then black listed from all other memory care facilities.

So, how should I handle this?

Also, are there any memory care facilities or alternatives to memory care in the NY/NJ area that have staff who actually treat residents like they’re trained to?