u/Lazy_Fill_4840

This reel hit me hard, how about you?

I think this is why I fell in to limerence in the first place, and then even more after they meet some one to date.

I’ve started doing the work.
Not because I want to every part of me resists it, but because I have no choice.

What that looks like in practice:
Stopping myself from seeking LO out at work. Listening for their voice before I walk toward the coffee machine or the lunch room and turning around if I hear it. Not sending the “I miss you” messages I used to send. Not waiting for a message and trying not to light up when one comes. Not reading old messages. Not looking at old pictures.
Just… not feeding it anymore.
And the hardest part? LO doesn’t know any of this is happening. To them I’m just ”fading away”. They’re not chasing me any linger. They’re not asking what’s wrong. And I don’t know if that hurts more or less than if they did.
I’m doing all of this invisible work while LO goes about their life completely unaware. And somehow that loneliness is its own kind of grief too.

Anyone else doing the slow fade and how do you sit with the silence? 🥺❤️‍🩹

Reading a post here made me reflect on something I haven’t fully sat with yet.

My LO was sought me out from the beginning. They also initiated, pursued, made the connection feel special and intense, and so did I. They introduced attachment theory into our dynamic, we sent messages/reels like “you’re my favorite person”, borh sent messsages like “it’s been too long, I miss you”, and checked if we’d be at work on the same days. At one point they told me they were going away and didn’t know how they’d manage without me. And then a message on their way home: “On my way back, I miss you.

Looking back, I wonder, was there a short window where they was also experiencing limerence for me? Before something shifted and they pulled back, and I fell deeper in.

What triggered my limerence was the moment they started dating someone, right after a period where we hadn’t seen each other for a while. That’s when something broke open in me, even though I’m married. (No judgement, please.)

And yet, even now, we still send each other messages every other week quite innocent but also saying we miss each other. Today I saw them at work. Inknow they saw me. Neither of us walked over.

It doesn’t change where I am now. I’m the one stuck in the limerence loop. But it does make the self inventory harder when the fantasy had so much real material to feed on. These weren’t just projections they unconsciously ”handed me” the building blocks.

Has anyone else experienced this kind of role reversal? Where the LO was once the pursuer, and then suddenly you became the one left holding all the feelings?

(For context, see my limerent story: https://www.reddit.com/r/limerence/s/iusmhHMVbH)