Drunk Friend
had a genuinely unsettling experience recently and wanted honest opinions from people who drink more than I do.
A friend and I went on a beach trip together. We hit a bar, and he got pretty drunk (I didn’t fully realize how drunk at the time). Later, while driving, he suddenly started saying a lot of mean and oddly targeted things to me — things that felt very out of character. It honestly felt like he was trying to provoke me into a fight.
What confused me is that throughout the trip, I had paid for almost everything — hotel, meals, drinks, flights — not because I wanted control or anything, but just because I was doing well financially and wanted us to have a good time.
But the whole trip started feeling strange:
he wouldn’t come to breakfast with me,
he’d wander off for long stretches without saying anything,
seemed irritated by my presence at times,
and then when drunk, all this hostility came out.
I’m not a big drinker myself, so I genuinely don’t know:
Is this something alcohol commonly does to people? Does it amplify hidden resentment/insecurity? Or was this likely already sitting underneath the friendship?
The thing that shocked me most wasn’t even the insults — it was how someone could accept generosity all day and then still behave with that level of disrespect later that night.
Curious what people who’ve experienced drunk friends/relationships think about this.