hey… i really need advice. i’m currently 17 weeks pregnant, and ever since i found out, my life has honestly been falling apart.
i got pregnant while on birth control (nexplanon), and i didn’t even realize until i was already about 3 months along. before that, i already had a lot going on. i had just turned 18, and my grandma kicked me out because she doesn’t “agree” with my lifestyle. she also told a bunch of lies about me to my dad’s side of the family, and now none of them talk to me anymore. they all believed her without even asking me what actually happened. i basically lost that entire side of my family in a heartbeat.
since then, i’ve been staying with my mom, but she works all the time. i’m alone in the house pretty much 24/7, just stuck in my head. i haven’t been able to go to school because she lives in a different district, and she works early mornings until the afternoon, so i have no ride. i tried to look into switching schools, but it’s the end of the year and everyone’s focused on state testing and graduation, so it feels pointless now.
on top of that, we barely have food in the house. my mom cooks sometimes, but most days i’m just drinking water and trying to get through it. before i got kicked out, i was actually applying for jobs and going to interviews, but all of that stopped when i moved.
my mom says she’ll help me with the baby, but honestly, i’m scared. i’m really not in a good mental place right now. i cry for hours almost every day, and i’ve been struggling with self harm. i don’t feel stable enough to raise a child, but at the same time, i’ve already gotten attached to the baby.
my boyfriend ( 19M ) helps sometimes, but he’s more focused on his own life, his friends, car meets, stuff like that. he wanted me to get an abortion, but it’s not legal where i live, and neither of our families support that anyway. we also don’t have the money to travel or pay for one.
i feel completely stuck. i don’t know what my next step is supposed to be. i want to finish school first, but i’ve already missed over a month and there are only a few weeks left. it feels like i’ve already failed, and that makes everything worse.
i know i can’t just sit around and expect things to fix themselves, but right now i don’t even know where to start. i feel overwhelmed all the time, and sometimes my thoughts get really dark because i feel like this is all my fault.
but at the same time, i know there’s a life inside me that depends on me, and i don’t want to give up.
if anyone has been through something like this or has any advice at all, please share. i don’t really have anyone in my life i can talk to about this, so it just leaves internet strangers.