u/LastCryptographer173

I ran into my LO for the first time in six months. She was very friendly and even complimented me on my appearance. We were talking like no time had passed, she kept referencing stuff from when we were close. I asked how her boyfriend was doing and she said they'd broken up after being together for four years.

I don't know how I feel about it. There was a time where I was hanging on her every word. I expected myself to get excited at the prospect of her being single even though I'm in a three year relationship myself. I did, but I didn't, too? Like, I don't feel the same intense pull I did before but I do definitely have a certain amount of "What if?" thinking that I can't quite shake. And a fear of missing out.

But I also felt a certain amount of vindication. I've always had self esteem issues tied up in my limerence. Knowing that my own relationship is doing better and that I'm doing better than her in certain areas, made me feel like I won, for lack of a better word. Like, maybe my beliefs in her innate superiority and my inadequacy aren't based in reality. It also made me happy to know that she broke up with her bf and not the other way around, cause I fucking hated that guy. Hated unjustifiably, but hated all the same.

So I'm just kind of perplexed about how I feel. We work at the same place (she's full time and I'm part time) and our departments are merging, so we might end up running into each other again.