Im a 28M who just got a vasectomy three days ago. My fiancée and I have known each other since freshmen year of high school and started dating our third year in college. I’ve always wanted to be a dad, but biological children was never a “MUST HAVE”. The thought of adoption and helping children who would otherwise not have a loving home sounds beyond rewarding to me. I want to add peace to a child’s life, not necessarily create one. My fiancée is on a similar boat. She had a phobia of pregnancy but still sees herself raising adopted babies. We both suffer from pretty strong psychological issues, with my side of the family having severe bipolar disorder. Making our own child just never sounded like something we both needed in our futures. We discussed a vasectomy for over a year, with an 8 month period of trying to get that damn appointment scheduled. This was not an impulse action.
However, just 3 days after my vasectomy, I am drowning in guilt. Not because of my decision and reasoning for getting it done, but because of the reaction of my parents and in laws. It’s like I stabbed them in the back, like I committed a sin to the family. I understand why they are shocked or confused by this decision both my fiance and I took, but I never expected them to react this negatively. I feel like I let them down and it’s the only thing I can think about.
I know having kids just to satisfy them would end up being even worse, but I can’t shake this feeling.
What if they’re right? What if I fucked up? Idk it just sucks.