yes, i want to die.
why do you ask?
waking and sleeping.
they feel the same.
i don’t know how to discern
the two of them.
i don’t think i care either.
misery.
stupid, stupid misery.
and who cares
about the people who sent me here?
who broke their bones
and tore their flesh
to put me on this pedestal?
i want this-
(did i want this?)
and who cares
about the “friends” i left behind?
whose lies and false vows
left me to die?
all alone, no longer hopeful.
resigned to hate-forgiveness-
apathy.
and who cares
about the nameless faces in my class?
they shine and shine and shine some more.
beautiful and bright.
they move forward,
leaving me behind.
jealousy, envy
consumes me ever slightly so
then melts away into hope
that someday
they too will thrive.
and who cares
about the cashier that remembers my name?
the people i join for games each night?
the kindness from a person unknown?
who cares?
who cares-
who
me?
so here i am.
one foot on dry land
the other in the water.
i close my eyes (i can’t)
and let the wind toss my body
wherever to and fro.
i’m scared.
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