u/Lanky_Vegetable96

My wife (F28) and I (F29) live in the US and have made the decision to doing IVF abroad. We have been on the search for a donor the past 5 months and have finally found 2 perfect donors on Donor Network and they are both in Denmark. The only problem is we decided to opt into gene matching thinking "why not?" but both donors came back "unfavorable" and legally cannot tell us what gene they both had matched with my wife. It was a huge punch in the gut especially because Donor Network said this was super rare and on top of that we cant know the severity of the gene match and we do not see any other donors we would want to use. So we are going to do an at home carrier tests to see what genes we carry to hopefully narrow it down. but I also cant help but think everyone i know has never done gene matching before having kids and everything turned out fine for them? So I guess I would like advice on a couple things... am I wrong for still wanting to use one of those donors?

Also note they test for 450 different things… they’re very extensive…

My 3 choices are:

-Go to Greece (Ark Clinic) and use on of those donors (cross our fingers hope for the best)

-Go to Greece (Ark Clinic) we a NEW donor that we would have to settle on somehow...

-Go to North Cyprus IVF Clinic (They have optional PGT Testing that we can make sure the embryo does not have any diseases) Only problem is I am not sure how friendly they are to Americans right now due to the war and Cyprus is near Iran ):

If you have other donor sites worth looking at please let me know.

Hi everyone, I’m looking for honest feedback on my financial situation and life plan because I’m feeling a bit unsure and don’t want to make a dumb decision.

I’m a 29F teacher (so is my spouse) and I’ve been seriously considering starting my own business within the next year. Before I do that, I want to sanity check where I’m at financially and whether I’m on track or behind for my age.

Here’s my current situation:

• Income: I make about $5,000/month and my spouse also makes about $5,000/month, so ~$10,000/month combined
• Debt: Only debt we have is my car, which has about $27,000 left on it (2025 Chevy). We recently paid off my spouse’s car and all student loans
• Retirement / Investments:
  • TRS (teacher retirement): $31,690
  • Roth IRA (started 2024): $7,020
  • S&P investments: $3,929 (started with $4,000)
• Savings:
  • High-yield savings (shared): $35,097
• Insurance:
  • I have a 10-year whole life insurance policy through State Farm — $350/month for $125,000. I started it in 2022, so I have 6 years left
  • My spouse has similar retirement accounts and a similar life insurance setup

Even though on paper this seems okay, I constantly feel like we’re behind and nowhere near having enough to retire someday—especially if we want to start a family soon. What stresses me out most is It feels hard to consistently contribute as much as we should to retirement after monthly expenses and I’m unsure if we’re investing in the right places or missing better strategies. On the bright side the only debt we have is my car.. we just paid of my spouses car and student loans. Any advice??? Should we get another type of savings or invest any other way?

My main questions:

1. Are we behind for our age, or is this actually a decent position to be in?
2. Should we be investing differently (or more aggressively)?
3. Is the whole life insurance policy a mistake at this point?
4. Does TRS suck compared to 401k?
5. What would you prioritize next if you were in our position (more investing, different accounts, paying off the car, etc.)?

I’d really appreciate honest perspectives, especially from people further along or who have made similar decisions. I just want to make sure I’m building a stable future before I hit the big 3-0

Thanks in advance!