Hello everyone, first time posting but I have decided within the last few weeks to end my pumping journey.
Backstory/vent: We started as EBF which I loved but at his two month appointment he was hospitalized for being under weight because he wasn’t getting enough milk, which quite honestly left me feeling traumatized. At that point we had to start combo feeding and they asked me to quit nursing and begin pumping instead. At first I was getting less than 2 oz every three hours but after while (and a ton of power pumping, supplements, and many many LC visits) I was able to bring my supply up but it was never enough to give him breast milk exclusively. My baby recently turned 5 months and the constant pumping every two hours (and the subsequent loss of sleep) just to still have to supplement was really getting to me and so I tried to drop pumps down to 6 times a day. My supply plummeted. I can’t bring myself to do it again. I am miserable and the negative effects are outweighing the benefits so I decided that against my original plan, it’s time.
Original Question: All of that is to say, I quit pumping and I’m not sure if it’s guilt, hormones, PPD or some combination of it all but I have been unbearably sad since. I feel a lot of regret for quitting but when I think about trying to get my supply back up and going again I feel even worse. I know Post weaning depression is a real thing and it seems fairly common but it’s so hard to live with and I’m so afraid it won’t go away. Has anyone had these struggles before? Any tips on how to cope?