u/LOLROW

I (21m) am a third-year university student. My parents are paying for college, and I've been blessed to have the family I have and the financial support they bring me. But over the last 4 years, I've grown to realize no amount of money, education, or skills can ever help a person with a low IQ achieve their dreams.

Ever since I was in around 5th - 6th grade, I was obsessed with computers. Not just computers themselves, but how they worked, what you could make with them etc. I loved both playing and making super simple batch file games and I'd show them off to my friends and family and I loved it. It's actually how I met some of my friends who I'm still with today.

However, as schooling continued, my love for pretty much everything in life faded. Each year I realized more and more that my peers were surpassing me rapidly, and my teachers had started to take notice. Every year my teachers would tell my parents that I’d be better off in remedial classes for students with cognitive limitations. I’d have teachers get increasingly frustrated with me for not understanding simple topics, and I’d then be ostracized by both my parents and the entire school faculty. I was forced to stay after school for tutoring, and it didn’t help. I got extra tutoring both at home and at places with professional tutors and it didn’t help.

Then computer science classes came around whenever I got into high school. I had worked relentlessly over the summer to try and catch up to my peers who were already skipping the intro class and going into one of the later classes. I actually ended up skipping the first class, although it was after both me and my parents relentlessly emailing the teacher. But I did end up in the class with my friends, and that semester ruined me. I had seen every single peer in my class fly through all the material with ease, while I was still struggling to remember what “print” in python was.

After that my already terrible grades dropped even more. I barely passed high school (just like elementary and middle school) and my parents desperately wanted me to go to college just like my two older brothers. So, I ended up going to a local community college and told my childhood friends I’d meet them at the 4-year university they were going to.

I ended up spending two years at that community college only taking the required core classes, and now I’m officially moved in with those 2 friends, and we’re all in uni together.

And I wish it was smooth sailing from there, but nope. These past 2 semesters have made me feel the most miserable I have ever felt. For one, I switched majors right before moving. Every one of my friends and peers from back home is now starting their masters, going into med school, and has internships paying 70,000+ a year starting. While I was struggling profusely in community college, everyone around me was excelling at anything life threw at them.

So now I’m here. 2.4 GPA, barely passing my exams, and I’m 100% failing my last exam which is on Monday.

I’ve already talked to my parents, and I’ve decided to drop out of college entirely. I think I’ve finally shown them that I have no potential in life due to my low IQ.

But now on to smaller and worse things: What do I do now? Where do I start?

EDIT: As for other problems which I forgot to include in this post: I have and have had severe depression for as long as I can remember. I've tried over 15 different meds, done ECT, TMS, ketamine trials, and pretty much every accessible treatment for depression you can think of with no results. I'd like to also say that a main driver of my depression is my intelligence. I don't think I'll ever be happy unless I have a normal or above average IQ, because without that, there's nothing I can do to pursue my true dreams. I won't have any means to be successful in anything without at least a normal IQ score.