TL;DR Roommate became progressively more abusive and I asked the landlord to leave my lease and they let me out due to abuse, but they are also evicting him. AITAH?
When we moved in I thought maybe we would end up dating since we had tried and it lasted a month before we realized that living an hour away was making it too difficult and he was having problems with it. So we decided to just be friends for now, and then we became roommates.
During the first few months I decided I couldn’t date him. This was due to an argument that had occurred within the first month of living there. A song had come on about fu ck boys and he commented saying women can listen to that but he can’t be that, and commenting on how he has to pay for all of the abusive men even though he’s no abusive himself. I tried to explain it’s actually just that women just don’t know *who* is safe and have to pretend they all might be until they know. (I also said I do this with any gender not just men.) but because of this our first fight was him attacking me for ‘hating men’. After that I had come out of my room and he screamed at me because he thought I was his cat. I asked him to please not yell at *anyone* because we were both coming out of traumatic places and needed peace.
That’s the first thing that happened.
Other things that happened:
⚪️ Have had to remind him when bills are do and ask multiple times for money he owes on them
⚪️I mowed the yard by myself for the entire spring, summer, fall of last year. He won’t help.
⚪️I pay him to let my dog out when I’m at work. For a while he wasn’t doing it and she got a UTI.
⚪️he let his girlfriend into my bedroom to ‘clean’ and I told them not to do that again and installed a pet cam inside of my room
⚪️If I ask for help dripping faucets so our pipes don’t freeze, as the landlord requests, he freaks out on me
⚪️when he finally did help mow I reminded him we are required to mow around the AC-he freaked out on me, calling me a narcissist even though I had thanked him for his help and was being very nice
⚪️he changes his clothes in front of the bedroom door while it’s open. I don’t mean just a shirt.
⚪️he told me my food should be in a box, not in a cabinet where food goes. Why? Well it was ingredients and I’m not using them quickly so they should go
⚪️he uses up the entire living room. Leaving no space for me
⚪️we were supposed to share a craft room. Instead he took it over and barely does any crafts
⚪️his girlfriend was playing with him in an inappropriate way on the couch
⚪️he comes out of his room naked
⚪️he yells at his cats
⚪️he yells at my dog
⚪️he allows his girlfriend to stay when he’s not home. She has a key. We never discussed this, I’m not okay with it. But he won’t allow me to let a dog walker in to let my dog out of my room to pee
⚪️I had to remind him of bills, at his request, because otherwise he just wouldn’t pay them and the ones coming from my bank would overdraft me
⚪️all of my stuff is inside of my bedroom, I don’t get any other space in the house
⚪️when I told him I didn’t like being sexualized in a conversation we had, after we agreed we wouldn’t date, he got mad and said all of his female friends didn’t have a problem with it. He then stormed through the house in an exaggerated way because I could ‘accuse him of SA’ and everyone would believe me.
⚪️there were so many times where we were talking and if I had any opinion that differed from his he would get mad and shut down, usually not talking to me for days.
⚪️he’s called me stupid
⚪️he told his girlfriend I wouldn’t let maintinance into the house but actually I’m always the one calling them and having them fix things
⚪️he got mad when I wanted to turn the heat on because my elderly cat was in my cold room, but he keeps the heat on and opens all of the windows
This isn’t the whole list. I’m just sick of adding bullet points. I never wanted him to get kicked out. I only wanted out of my lease. My therapist and an advocate both wrote a letter asking for my release due to emotional abuse. There’s a police report about him exposing himself.
I asked to be out of my lease, they agreed, they turned around and gave him a 30 day notice to vacate. He’s blaming me. His girlfriend is also blaming me. They don’t know about why I’m out of my lease, they don’t even know I was released. They only know I’m leaving because I moved my dog and cats to my new place already.
And I had to ask them to stay out of my room because at 1:30am the other day, his girlfriend was peeking into my room. She’s already been told not to go in there, and they know my dog isn’t there. So there’s no legal need to go in my room and in my state roommates aren’t allowed to trespass into the other roommates private room. I didn’t call cops or anything, just reminded them that my dog isn’t there and to please leave my stuff alone.