Hello brothers and sisters in Christ. I'm having a trouble about that. I've been feeling away from God even doing everything that I do everyday. Since I became a Christian in 2019-2020, don't remember exactly when, I read the bible monday to friday, one chapter everyday, praying every morning, afternoon and night, going to church, fasting, etc. I'm not saying that like it's enough for us to do for God or saying that I'm good for doing these things, I'm saying that for you guys to have a parameter. I know that there has to be something wrong with me or with something I'm doing but I've been praying for that for a long time and I don't know if God simply doesn't answer or if I'm too dumb to not see the answer, I have been trying to fix this for maybe a year and half maybe, i don't even know how much time I spent trying to figure it out what I'm doing wrong. I'm not mad with God or something like that, I'm frustrated and angry with myself for not knowing what to fix in me for that. because I know God is here, he says that several times in his word, I know he is here and watching me, he knows me better than myself, he knew me before I was here even, but it's awful when you know that there's something wrong and you simply don't know what to do or what it is. I don't know if God just got tired of trying to help me. I know that Jesus is coming back soon and I'm scared, not scared of God but scared of me not being ready, not being right when he comes back, I want to fix what is wrong with me not just because of that, but because I want to be able to be a true son of God, I don't want to be a fake Christian, someone who says that love Jesus and it's doing bad things or things that takes God away from you. I genuinely want to obey God, do whats right, do what gets you closer to God. and I'm writing this to know what you guys think, thanks!!
Sorry if misspelled something, English isn't my first language.