Converting, Yet Doubtful
Title. There is a lot I want to say, yet I want to keep this short and succinct. I am a seventeen year old who was raised in a protestant (evangelical) household. My mother, claiming to be an “ex-catholic,” completely shuts down any argument I present because of her sparse past in the church. My father, who found the Lord later in life as a protestant, also rejects Catholicism. I told them my plans recently to convert, and since then I’ve engaged often in debating them, but every time I feel sure of myself and what I’ve come to know, I feel doubtful when they refute it all with biblical evidence. Them, being wiser and older than me, usually make me backtrack and really rethink what I’m saying. They don’t believe in doctrine (e.g. the Papacy, apostolic succession, Peter as the “rock,” the Saints being able to hear us, the reality of the Eucharist) that define the Catholic faith, and it’s harder to reassure myself when there’s very few verses that support the argument. Especially since they know exactly which verses to say to make me stumble on my words.
I don’t know how to feel. I really feel like my identity is in shambles. For one, I have huge trust in the Catholic church as such doctrine has been continuously refined throughout history, and yet, I can’t shake the feeling that I could potentially just be wrong. I’ve always been open minded to all Christian denominations, which is a major reason I’ve never held prejudice against Catholics. Now, looking into becoming one, I feel lost. I’d talk to a priest about this, but doing so at this moment would be difficult. Can I get advice from any long-time Catholics? (Or, just anyone with a firm foundation in the faith.)