Dealing with desperation
Hi everyone...
I have many blessings and I thank God for all of them. Health, a good job, financial stability, and a few but good friends.
But I have suffered a lot in life. I grew up in a dysfunctional family, I have suffered neglect, abandonment, abuse, and my heart has been broken every time I have been open to romantic love (because of my age, I no longer feel that is even something I want anymore).
I keep praying to the Lord, waiting on Him, but it seems like the suffering never ends. I try to live my faith, to have a relationship with the Lord, and to be fair to others.
I just feel like despite me persevering for years and keeping a positive attitude I always end up getting played, hurt, manipulated, etc. My pain keeps getting dismissed and if I dare to speak up I'm simply shunned out or abandoned. I try to keep learning, trusting God, and being thankful, but, I feel like my suffering never ends and I'm starting to feel desperation, because God seems to be silent and the message I get anywhere I look is "be patient", "wait", "God's timing is perfect". But I see that other people don't have to wait as long, or be as patient, and I'm starting to believe that maybe my time is not in this life, but in the next, hopefully.
Has anyone here endured what seems like years of suffering without a change and is still faithful to God in their suffering? How do you avoid getting desperate? How do you deal with the pain that never ends?