u/Key_Direction4726

I realized as I read that last letter that I had left out the most important part. And that is this.

Instead of all that arguing or at least by the end of it I could say to your face that I am sorry for more than I should be. And no matter what I am proud to have met you. And you know me I try not to apologize unless I genuinely mean it.

You inspire me to this day and you helped me work through and get past so many  things.  And that means more to me then all the bad moments that we have shared.

Your presence in my life has been both sweet and sour. You have instilled joy in my life just by being you. Even with the sorry and the suck,  I don’t regret anything because I believe the lessons that we learn along the way build the future. Brick by brick.

I don’t know if I ever told you this but, when I was in prison I missed you the most. I thought about you everyday. And when I got out you were the first person I reached out too. I looked for you everywhere I went. Even still I find my eyes scanning for you no matter where I am.

I often wonder what would have happened if I never reached out to Voldemort. Yet , if I hadn’t I would probably still have feelings for her in some positive way. Because of you I am free of her and I was able to push past the trance on the way out.

So, I just wanted you to know that. And that it was always you. I was just to scared to trust myself.

Anyway, take it one day at a time and so will I. See you when I see you.

Forever & Back,

(:ME:)

Lately instead of fighting back I have been fighting forward. And with that I have spent a lot of time ruminating.

Thinking about every little detail of you and the time that we shared. Looking for the things that I missed, the things that we missed, and the things that we are both afraid to say. At least without a fight.

Honestly, I am down. I would love to hear you screaming at me. For all the  things that I have done to you, all the things that I have said to you or not said. The things that I missed, the things that I am missing and whatever else that beautiful  nugget of yours wants to say.

Yes I will argue back and with purpose. Like we did in that hotel in Spokane. Where I fucked up their by not telling you what I should have. I should have told you that I was in love with you then. I know that…

Yes I would love to look for and or offer some perspective. Like I said. I have been ruminating. I have put logic where feelings were concerned. I have come to realize certain wrongs and some rights.

With that I don’t know exactly what I am going to say but when this fight happens and you know it will” I will be sober searching for somebody that I can not forget.

 

And that is you!

I miss you “more” munchkin.

Forever & back,

:) Me (: 

I used to love you.

Then I still did.

Then I forgot to

Stay mad at you

Long enough

To love you

Again!