
Trill
The light was brutal. It felt like flaming toothpicks being jammed into her eyes. Rolling over Brittany’s head throbbed. Her alarm felt like a thousand hammers were turning her brain into pudding. She made it to the bathroom just in time to not throw up the night before all over her floor. When she felt like she could move without dying, she leaned over her sink, drinking tepid tap water, trying to clear the taste of bile and booze out of her mouth.
She couldn’t remember the weekend very much, just an image here and there, her friends, the club, the noise, the party, some type of screaming heavy metal. Still trying to shake the cobwebs from her mind she stumbled still half dressed into the shower. She considered calling off work, but she was already on thin ice. Too many call offs for hangovers, too many times being late. The water in the shower was cold. She groaned, the water heater for the building must have failed again, or one of her neighbors had used it all.
One cold shower later, she pulled on clean clothes and gargled some mouth wash. She was tempted to drink it, maybe that would ease the pain in her head, but she knew that wasn’t the answer. Looking at the clock she realized she had just enough time to make a cup of coffee before leaving for work. The coffee was terrible, had it gone bad? Could ground coffee go bad? She didn’t know, she’d have buy more.
As she left her building, she noticed the bus stop was crowded. Normally it was just her, she didn’t recognize these people. They all seemed to look how she felt, hung over, miserable, wishing for anything other than a bus ride on Monday morning. Except one old man who sat with a cane in his hands, large dark glasses hiding his eyes. He smiled and hummed a tune she didn’t know.
When the bus arrived, everyone shuffled on, except for the old man, who stood and, tapping his way forward with his cane, walked down the sidewalk, a bounce in his step. Taking her seat, she closed her eyes and leaned her head against the cold glass, sighing at the slight relief it provided. A loud crack jolted her upright, The bus window had cracked, a dove lay on the street below, clearly dead. The old man had stopped, his head cocked to the side, still humming his tune.
The ride seemed to take longer than usual. The AC seemed to be out on the bus, making it rather hot and miserable inside. By the time she got to her stop, she would barely make it on time. A quick dash and few turns and she made it to the office just in time. As she clocked in, a coworker said, “cutting it close again, eh, Brit?” Looking over she saw Rob, he had been out sick for quite awhile, she couldn’t remember why. She never liked Rob, he was weird, kinda creepy, she hadn’t missed him.
“You’re not dead, Rob? I guess I lost that office pool.” As she walked towards the elevators she could feel Rob staring at her. Let him stare. The office was better when he wasn’t there. Settling into her cubicle, she got ready for another exciting day of life in a cube farm. The day passed without anything happening of note. It was, as always, boring.
But as she left the office to head home, she noticed the old man with the glasses and cane. He sat in the lobby, humming the same tune. His head was leaned slightly back as he swayed along with the song. No one paid any attention to him. He sat and hummed and swayed.
On Wednesday she got a message from her friend Amy. Friday night, the club, dancing, drinking, maybe a hot guy. It sounded fun, especially after two and half days of drudgery in a beige box. Her bus route remained crowded. The old blind man continued to be there at the bus stop and in the lobby of her office. Nobody seemed to pay him any mind. He sat, and smiled and hummed. The tune began to get stuck in her head. It was annoying, but she still didn’t recognize it.
Leaving work Friday, she found the old man wasn’t there. Rob, instead, sat there in the old blind man’s usual spot. He rubbed his shoulder, his face ashen. There was a look in his eyes that Brittany hadn’t seen before. It seemed like resignation. “You gonna die over there, Rob?” she called across the lobby. He glanced at her, and just shook his head slowly. Without a word, he stood up, and stumbled a few steps before falling to the ground. Brittany ignored him as she walked to the exit. She had plans and couldn’t help a creepy klutz off the floor.
After arriving back home and throwing on a slinky black dress, doing up her hair and make up, she made her way to meet her friends to catch an Uber. As she waited she saw the blind old man shuffle over. He had a violin case in one hand. He leaned his cane against the bus stop, opened the case and pulled out his violin and its bow, set down the case and left it open. And he began to play. It was the song he was always humming. It started slow, more complex than he could convey with humming. It was beautiful. After about four minutes of playing, the music picked up pace, and as it did so, her friends arrived. Still enchanted by the playing, Brittany stepped into the Uber with Amy and Sarah. The song of the violin echoed in her head.
The club was raucous. The drinks flowed. They danced with abandon. And a handsome man with two friends quickly made the ladies feel like the center of attention. They drank and danced, and when the man whispered to Brittany that they should get a cab and head home, she agreed.
Alone with the handsome man in her room, she drunkenly hummed the tune as she removed her dress. The man raised an eyebrow and said, “Tartini? You do not seem the type.” She giggled as she pulled him on top of her onto the bed. It was ecstasy, it was agony. She felt his hands glide up her body, across her chest, to her neck…
The light was brutal. It felt like flaming toothpicks being jammed into her eyes. Rolling over Brittany’s head throbbed. Her alarm felt like a thousand hammers were turning her brain into pudding. She made it to the bathroom just in time to not throw up the night before all over her floor. When she felt like she could move without dying, she leaned over her sink, drinking tepid tap water, trying to clear the taste of bile and booze out of her mouth.
She couldn’t remember the weekend very much, just an image here and there, her friends, the club, the noise, the party, and oddly, some violin. Still trying to shake the cobwebs from her mind she stumbled still half dressed into the shower. The water heater was broken, of course. Hadn’t it been broken last weekend? Had it ever been fixed?
She was out of coffee, and there was no time to stop and buy some, she would have to suffer through her office’s instant coffee that tasted like what she imagined a muddy pond would taste like.
As she walked to the bus stop she saw it was crowded again, and the old blind man sat there, gently playing his violin. The notes were like knives cutting away the shade and darkness from her memory, and she remembered everything. A thousand weekends, a thousand hangovers, a thousand miserable Mondays. The old blind man smiled as his playing came to cascading crescendo and finale. Lights seemed to dance behind his dark glasses as he played the final plaintive notes, full of terrible beauty and sadness.
And the old man grinned as the bus arrived, and, inexorably, she found herself boarding the bus. A dove struck the window as the old man started up a new song. Every note a nail. Every trill a mocking laugh.