u/KeyAdeptness579

hi guys ! i was hoping for some advice about what to do with the relationship i have with my mom. i’m 22 and my mom had me when she was 17/18. my dad was like 24.. when she was 9 months pregnant with me he cheated on her. it was rough with just me and my mom but i always feel sad for her. i feel like she tried her best.. but there were many times were she was ab.usiv3 anddd i remember these incidents so vividly. i did dissociate for a good majority of my childhood honestly. she eventually got with my step dad when i was 5 years old, she later on had my little sister and two brothers. she never physically did anything to them. but she was mean to them mentally. i always felt hurt that she would only ever physically hurt me. obviously i love my siblings and im glad she didn’t do it to them but it always made me feel weird that i was the only one who ever got treated differently. she did leave us alone at lot so i had to take care of all my siblings (a lot.) when i was a 15 she got diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer and this was during covid times, so i would bath her and feed her and it was really hard for me honestly. it made me sad that i took care of her with such love and respect but i remember when i was 3/4 years old bath times were chaotic and mean and she would kinda toss me around and rush me.. my youngest brother was 2 at the time so id change his diapers, feed him bottles, etc etc. (my stepdad had to work a lot to provide for us since my mom couldn’t work) anyway, eventually she beat cancer.. but shortly after cheated on my step dad with some loser from the gym. the day i moved out was because she kept yelling at me and getting spit all over my face, she was pushing me around, and my little brothers looked scared so i decided it was best to leave (i was 17) anyways this guy from the gym that she cheated on my stepdad with ended up being physically abusive to my mom and calling me a bitch.. also put in his instagram bio that IM a bitch.. grown man btw.. anyways, my mom stayed with him for about a year later until they eventually had to go to court and whatnot. So now she isn’t with him. After she cheated on my stepdad, my stepdad stopped talking to me, which did make me kinda sad cus I feel like he kinda raised me. Anyway, my mom started bartending and sometimes I’ll do events with her but this recent time I worked with her she left me in LA by MYSELF in a bar full of men at 4am.. when she came back an hour later her jaw was shaking like crazy.. you can imagine what she did.. Anyways I’ve just gotten really tired of the way that she acts. Not to mention she’s put me in thousands of dollars of debt and made my credit go from 500-700. I’ve decided to stop communicating with her and let the relationship go. I live with my grandma and she swung open my door the other day and threatens to “kick my a$$” i felt kind of caught of guard and i’ve been in a daze ever since. what do i do?