u/Key-Tap1726

I (34F) have never been a bridesmaid. I've attended close friends weddings that i hoped i'd be chosen for the bridal party but I always end up as a regular guest. Everytime this has happened i feel that horrible feeling in my gut that I am more invested in the friendship than they are. I feel lower on the friendship totem pole.

In the back of my mind I always thought, don't worry, when your brother gets married, you're a shoe in. This will be your chance to be chosen.

Welp, I was wrong.

Today having a conversation with my soon to be sister in law (33F), she mentioned how she has chosen her bridal party already and she wonders if my brother will ask me to be on his side of the bridal party.

From my perspective, soon to be SIL and i are very close. We talk daily and she has confided in me big time these last 6 years that i have known her. I'm feeling very hurt that I'm not on her radar for her bridal party. For reference I gathered she has chosen her guy best friend of 20 years, her sister whom she has a rocky relationship with and hardly speaks to, and I think her cousin? ( she has never mentioned her cousin before. I didn't even know she had one)

My question is, how do I get over this? Why has this affected me so greatly? I feel really down and can't stop thinking about it. I have now started distancing myself from her too because, once again, I feel like I like her more than she likes me.

This all feels really silly like the old MySpace top friends list. So silly, i know, but it hurts.