I’m feeling resentful of my partner.
I need to vent and maybe shift my mindset a little.
I love my partner deeply. He’s my best friend and such a great dad to our son. Lately though, I’ve been feeling resentful and I don’t really know how to move past it. I haven’t wanted to talk to friends or family because I don’t want to drag them into our “problems.” And honestly, it’s not even really a problem it’s just a hard situation we can’t really control.
Our son is 3 months old, and I’ve been struggling to adjust to this new season of life. Staying home all day, not being able to work, the constant exhaustion and lack of sleep… it’s been a lot. What’s made it harder recently is that my partner is active duty. He’s gone one weekend a month for drill, but this month he’s been gone twice once for drill and once for a planned bachelor trip with his friends. The trip also happens to fall on my first Mother’s Day, which does make me sad, but that’s not even the main issue.
What’s really bothering me is that after already doing everything on my own for four days last weekend, I’m now doing it all again for another four days. Of course I miss him, but I also feel jealous and resentful because I don’t get the same freedom. I can’t just leave for two weekends back to back, sleep through the night, spend time with friends, or go do things without having to think about the baby. He can.
And I know drill isn’t a vacation. I know he’s working hard, supporting us, serving his country, and trying to maintain his friendships too. But even then, he still gets uninterrupted sleep, adult conversation, and a break from constantly being “on.” Meanwhile, I feel like all I do is stay home and be mom every second of the day.
I know I should feel grateful, and part of me does. But another part of me just feels exhausted, lonely, and resentful and I don’t really know how to stop feeling that way. So what should I do to flip my mindset?